Everyone always says that you find yourself in college and it’s the best four years of your life. Well, I never understood this. Why would I want to live on my own and start new when everything was fine just the way it was? I was never one of those people who couldn’t wait to leave home and my family to transform into the person I’ve always wanted to be because I thought I already was who I wanted to be.
I was fortunate enough to have the best high school experience. I loved every second of it and wouldn’t change anything about it, especially because I hate change. So as you can tell, this character flaw caused me to be so afraid and nervous to go to college that I was literally sick to my stomach. I have to say that it was the worst and scariest part of my life. I cried for two months before school and I cried for the first two months while I was at school. In the bathroom, my dorm room, the classroom, Barone, out in public in the quad, I cried everywhere. I did not want to make new friends because I already had amazing ones. I did not want to live with a stranger because I hated snoring and awkward situations. I did not want to be away from my parents and my sister and my dog because I’d miss them too much. So needless to say, Fairfield University and I did not hit it off right away. It was a love/hate relationship if you will; Fairfield loved having me but I hated being there. But like all love/hate relationships, the love eventually prevails.
In high school, there was the old Alana. The old Alana was shy and didn’t like to be noticed. She never ever spoke to new people to try to make friends because she already had enough she thought (which her dad constantly teased her about haha). She played sports 365 days a year and so she didn’t really care about much else. She could not speak in front of her classes because she was too nervous. The old Alana kept to herself, her friends, family, and teammates, and cringed at the thought of having to socialize with strangers. She was a good student and the first in her family to go to college. She was scared of the future and of failing. But she made a friend who changed everything.
The best thing that ever happened to the old Alana was an awkward Facebook message in the summer of 2012 from a girl a town over introducing herself. Kindly she said she would also be attending Fairfield in the fall. From that moment on I would be on the path to the new Alana. This girl, who was a complete and total stranger to me a few weeks prior, taught me things that I had never learned in my 18 years of life. I noticed that I began to change. I was doing things and saying things that I never had before. I was laughing and smiling when I used to be crying. I wasn’t afraid to be myself or of failing. This girl brought something out in me that I didn’t even know was there. She challenged me to speak to new people, make new friends, do things I wouldn’t normally do, and be confident in who I am. She did this by being there for me every second of every day (a tiring job let me tell you). She sat in Barone for hours with me, she took me to the health center when I was sick, she listened to me cry and complain, she told me when I looked bad or was acting dumb, she forced me to talk to the boy I liked, and I can’t thank her enough. She got me through the hard part of coming out of my shell and gave me the tools and the confidence to be able to continue to grow on my own. She has been my roommate and best friend for the last four years and I could not imagine living without her now. She aided in learning my first lesson here at Fairfield: Always be yourself because that person is amazing.
God put many others in my path throughout my time here at Fairfield. Like my freshman year roommate who will be a life-long friend. Or my friends from New York and even California who gave me experiences and friendships that I will forever be grateful for. My Spanish professor who pushed me to be a better student, work harder, and challenge myself. It’s crazy that before I stepped foot onto Fairfield University’s campus I never even knew these people existed and now they have contributed so much to who I am today and are such an intricate part of my life.
That is the second lesson Fairfield has taught me: People come into your life for a reason. Even those who hurt me or let me down have all taught me lessons. That boss at my internship that I hated showed me what I didn’t want in a boss. And those people that let me down when I needed them the most, helped me realize that my mom and dad will always be there for me so I don’t need to worry about being alone. I am so thankful for all of the people who I have come across and all of the invaluable lessons they have taught me.
Because of the warm environment and the endless opportunities in this Jesuit community, I was able to spread my wings and get involved around campus. Which brings me to the third and final lesson that Fairfield has taught me: Never be afraid of the unknown. The old Alana was terrified of the unknown, which was detrimental to her because that meant she could never overcome her fears and grow as a person. Nothing is more valuable in learning than experiences, and Fairfield has allowed me to experience things I never could have imagined. Internships, clubs, sports, speeches, jobs, fundraisers, parties, have all opened a new world for me. With the accumulation of these experiences, the new Alana emerged.
Today, I am an intelligent, confident, and happy young woman who is ready for the next steps in life: I am the new and improved Alana. And I owe this new person to Fairfield University. These last four years have truly changed my life and I am so proud of who I have grown to be. I didn’t believe people when they told me that college would be the best four years of my life. I didn’t believe them until now. I came into Fairfield crying and I will leave Fairfield crying. Not because I am scared like I was then, but because I am happy for all that this place has given me. So as I write this with tears in my eyes, I say goodbye to Fairfield, but never goodbye to my friends and experiences and teachers and memories because they are mine now and will forever be mine stored away in my heart and memory. So thanks for a great four years Fairfield!