My roommate has been on and off dating a student from another college and does not get the idea of breaking up. Their relationship has been ended and started again many times and I do not think it is healthy. I tell my roommate that the relationship is not healthy and should be ended for good. I do not want to be the bad roommate and say they cannot date, but my roommate has kicked me out of the room when the person comes from the other school. What should I do? Other friends have the same opinion, but my roommate does not listen! Help!!!
Unfortunately, this situation seems to come up time and again in a college setting. Just as unfortunately, neither being friends or living together gives you the power to end the unhealthy relationship.
What you can do, though, is set boundaries on your personal space. The room is just as much yours as hers—you both pay a ton of money to go here!—and you have as much right to be there as she does. Be firm in saying that you aren’t comfortable with him being there, much less her kicking you out. It won’t fix the problem forever, but it will minimize its direct effect on you.
At the same time, you can continue to make it clear to your friend that you’re worried. Be careful about saying too many negative things about the SO while they’re “on a break,” though; in these cases, you never know when he’ll be back in the picture.
Sincerely, Abe