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Why I Chose To Be Single This Summer

Alyssa Harmon Student Contributor, University of South Florida - St. Petersburg
Malique Ferrette Student Contributor, University of South Florida - St. Petersburg
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at USFSP chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

Today, there is a lot of social pressure to always be in a relationship.  If you’re not talking to or dating someone, no one thinks that it is by choice.  However, this summer I decided that I was going to stay single.  It wasn’t because I wanted to play hard to get or demand attention, but because I wanted to work on myself and figure out how to be happy again. I believed that if I couldn’t truly care for myself, then no one else would know how to either.

I had previously been in unhealthy relationships, but for most of them, I didn’t realize that they were toxic until afterwards.  There were a few that I knew I shouldn’t have been in, but I was focused more on what the other person wanted than what was better for me and my mental health.  I was scared to leave, and afraid that I would have regrets if I didn’t stay and try to fix the relationship.

By the time this summer came around, I realized something needed to change.   I decided that I was going to take the next three months for myself.  It was honestly one of the most rewarding things I have ever done.  It was so nice to be able to live my life without worrying about what someone else wanted or expected.   It was nice not to be giving all of my energy, effort, and time to someone who only gave me half of it back.  It felt freeing.  

However, it wasn’t always easy.  There were a lot of times when I wished there was someone to be close with, someone to make memories with, and someone to share all my stories with.   There were a lot of times when I wanted to run back to my ex, but I knew that it wasn’t going to help anyone, especially me.

I had to remind myself everyday that I didn’t need someone to make me happy.   It was a learning process; it wasn’t something that happened overnight. I did the things that made me happy, no matter how silly or trivial it was.  The hardest part was trying to take my happiness back into my own hands.  I taught myself to be happy and content with staying in on Friday nights and going to sleep without a goodnight text.

Now the summer is over, and I’m so happy that I made that decision.  I feel as if I changed a lot, and discovered more about myself.  I had to learn how to love myself in order to find someone who will treat me the way I deserve.  I needed to learn to love myself so that I wouldn’t stay in a toxic relationship; so that I would be strong enough to leave and find someone I actually deserved.  I did it so that I would be strong enough to walk away and not look back.  

HC xoxo,

Alyssa Harmon

Resources

http://www.independentfemme.com/freedom-the-best-thing-about-being-single/

Alyssa Harmon

USFSP '19

Alyssa Harmon is a senior at USFSP and is majoring in English Writing Studies and minoring in Mass Communication. For her senior year, she is also working on her thesis project for the Honors College. She is the current senior editor for the USFSP Her Campus chapter, as well as the 2017-2018 president and the 2018-2019 vice president for the Alpha Xi Phi chapter of Sigma Tau Delta. In addition, she is the editor-in-chief of Papercut Literary Journal. Alyssa lived all around the country until 2013 when she and her family moved to Florida. Alyssa has a passion for reading and writing, and she's been doing that since she learned how to. Once she graduates, she wants to hopefully publish a book of some of her poetry and work as a copy editor at a publishing company. When she's not doing homework, you can find her downtown, at the beach, or in a bookstore.
Malique Ferrette

USFSP '21

A Mass Communications Major with a passion for inspiring others.Â