For some reason, talking about sex in public, especially as a woman,  is like talking about how much you make in a year…frowned upon. Personally, I say to hell with that sexist double standard. Ladies, don’t be afraid to talk about sex, ask questions about sex, and especially say no to sex. Your body is yours to own, and you can do whatever you want with it (just be safe).
I answered some of your mildly ~sexy~ questions!
Question: So I’ve started to develop feelings for the guy I’ve been hooking up with. I know he wants to be no strings attached but I just can’t keep seeing him if he doesn’t want more from me. What do I do, how do I approach this?
Lo: This seems to be a classic college conundrum. While we can talk about the modern day hook up culture until we are blue in the face, I don’t think any of that conversation will truly help you. Honestly, it will probably make you more frustrated. I could flood your head with statistics, and the blind hope that he’s playing “hard to get,” but you don’t deserve to play games, and you especially don’t deserve to get played. I don’t care how great he might seem, if you are developing feelings now and they are not being reciprocated, run. I’m just kidding, but not really. It sounds to me like he’s being very transparent about his intentions with you, and very obviously doesn’t want to move forward with a more serious relationship. In this situation, I think you’re in too deep for it to be “just sex” anymore. Once those feelings start to surface, he’s no longer a friend with benefits. I think to avoid getting hurt, you should stop seeing him. For your sake, you don’t need to make it obvious either. Just gradually start answering his texts less and less, and he’ll eventually get the hint. There doesn’t need to be a huge song and dance. You’ve got to do what’s best for you, girlfriend.
Question: I hate my best friend’s boyfriend. And I mean HATE. I hate the way he treats her, I hate him as a person, I hate practically everything about him and I can’t hide it anymore. How do I let her know?
Lo: Woah. It seems like you have a lot of feelings. Let’s consider this from both sides. On one hand, you are just trying to look out for your friend, because you obviously want what’s best for her. That’s totally understandable. I guess I would have to know specific details about why you dislike her boyfriend. Does he hit on other girls? Is he super controlling and possessive? If he treats her poorly and you feel that he is a danger to her, then absolutely address it as soon as possible. It’s better for your friend to be a little angry at you for a while as she reevaluates her relationship, than for her to be in an unhealthy relationship.
Question: Hi Lo! This question is kind of personal but here goes nothing I guess. I just got into a relationship, and I’m really happy. The only thing that’s getting me down is that my boyfriend jokes about all the girls he’s been with, which scared me into asking him to get tested. He says I don’t trust him because of it. What do I do?
Lo: Hi! First of all, I’m happy if you’re happy…but your boyfriend needs to not be discussing his past conquests…sexual or otherwise unless you explicitly ask him. Why does he feel like he needs to brag about girls he’s been with? If I were you, I’d address that with him. As for getting tested…do that too. It’s important to get tested whether you think you’re being safe or not, and you deserve to have the peace of mind. Temple administers STD/STI testing on campus, and there are also lots of resources in Philadelphia if you’re uncomfortable getting it done on campus.
Question: So sex is not my thing. I don’t think it’s that fun and I just feel like I’m not good at it, but I feel like I need to be having it because all of my friends are. I don’t want anyone to think I’m “prude,” but I really don’t want to go out and find guys to hook up with.
Lo: Don’t ever, ever, feel like you have to have sex to fit in, or for your friends to like you. If that’s the case, then I recommend finding new friends Your sexual behaviors, or even lack thereof, are your business and yours alone! I hate that sex is associated with college. Sex is a part of life, any way you slice it, but it’s not a necessary part of the college experience. Sex is also a super intimate thing, and please don’t ever feel like you have to have it. I cannot stress that enough. People should never shame women for having sex, or not having sex. Period. Do your thing, girlfriend.
See you next week!
XOXO,
Lo
As always, I’m accepting more questions! Ask me anything; it’s 100% anonymous!
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/6QK6QQW
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