1. The professor doesn’t take attendence
You da real MVP
2. You took an exam last class
How could we possibly be starting something new
3. You need a personal day
Or two, or three. It’s tough being you
4. You haven’t missed a class yet
You might as well use all three of your allowed absences
5. It’s the first nice day of spring
Everyone’s on the quad and there’s no possible way you’re missing it
6. There were no good parking spots
AKA there was a funeral and there’s no way you’re walking from Plains in the snow
7. The roads are too bad to drive
Even though the plows have been out since 6 a.m. you just can’t risk it
8. Your allergies are acting up
Or you’re extra sleepy, either way you’re going to be useless in your 9 a.m.
9. You’re too hungover to function
Sometimes Charlie O’s gets the best of you
10. All of your roommates are skipping
Yes mom, if all my friends jumped off of a bridge I would too
11. It’s the Friday before break
Only Satan would dare interfere with your travel plans
12. Or it’s the Monday after break
The two hour ride back from CT really took a lot out of you
13. You need to use that time to study for a big exam in a different class
Soooooooooo ironic
14. All of the PowerPoints are online anyways
Taking notes in the comfort of your own bed is way more effective
15. You’re already ten minutes late
Walking in would just be rude at this point, especially holding your necessary cup of coffee