Dear Creepy Clowns Terrorizing the USA,
You think that you are playing a game, a trick, a hilarious little joke with yourself. But you’re not fooling anyone. I completely understand why you chose to impersonate a clown- they are one of the creepiest things around, up there with spiders and heights.
How did you think that this was okay? It started off as something extremely creepy so far away from my town, somewhere off in South Carolina. I thought, “Wow, it’s terrifying that this is happening in the U.S.”. I could easily ignore it because it was out of my line of vision, and it became ‘out of sight, out of mind.’ I suppose that is the only positive of what you are doing. You are exposing the truth of the matter – how when something freaky like this happens, Americans tend to become overdramatic about everything. We do need to be wary of you, but we shouldn’t make you our top priority. There are other events that are more important than you.
You started off by watching residents, mainly children, and trying to lure them into your woods, bribing them with candy and other sweets. You began to gain your footing, started carrying a machete, and traveling around the country. You have gone from a skeptical sight that people don’t believe in to a national phenomenon. People are being arrested for various charges, just for wearing a clown suit. Some people have even been shot.
And this makes me terrified to return home, knowing that one of your kind was just spotted near my house. I have researched and heard that this is just a Clown Hoax that happens every year right before Halloween, but this year, these clowns went more overboard than normal. In the 1980s, there were many phantom clown reports, where clowns would appear and whisper things to children and give them sweets. These types of paranoid panics happen when a society has anxiety towards an upcoming event. This year is an election year, with school shootings and terrorist attacks, extremely similar to the 1980s when the clowns first started appearing. The clown sightings came at a similar time with the hysteria of Dungeons and Dragons and the reports of Satanists attacking and kidnapping children.
I don’t know if your threats are real or not. To be honest, I don’t really care. However, I do want the clowns out there to know one thing. I’d hate to burst your bubble, but you are in Georgia now. We don’t take any of this kind of prank. We are not afraid to hurt you if you decide to try and kidnap any of us. Don’t bother trying. I personally can’t wait until Halloween is over and maybe we can finally put these clown sightings to rest, once and for all.
Sincerely,
A Concerned Citizen