At Kenyon, we’re all paired up with advisors, and everyone knows the importance of receiving career advice from more experienced people in your field. My life would not be the same without the impact of many personal mentors who have supported me and challenged me to grow through the years. Whenever I move to a new place, one of the first things I do is to find a mentor or two who can support me and encourage me to grow. It’s not that I let my mentors make all of my decisions, but I always consult with them before making a big decision and I always take their advice into consideration. At times, my mentors have been my biggest fans and greatest supporters. They’re my safeguard against bad decisions. I always know that they’re fighting for me, and I feel safe knowing that there are always people who believe in me when times get tough.
Here are some of the greatest benefits of having mentors in your life.
This is Amy, my spiritual mentor in high school, who consistently reminded me that I was capable of victory in my struggles.
Mentors Call You Higher
One of the greatest things that a mentor can do is to remind you of your character and your potential when you are not living from those things. It is really important to me that I live as a woman of character, and sometimes I need to be reminded of my own values.
Sometimes, I forget to forgive people when they offend me, or I get discouraged with something and stop trying. In those moments, hearing, “Have you forgiven that person?” or “You’re not a quitter; keep going,” can make all the difference.
Probably the best example of this was when I got frustrated with my Pre-Calc class in high school, and stopped even trying to pay attention. I was also struggling with depression at the time, and really didn’t feel like doing anything. I just wanted to give up, but instead, my teacher had me come in before school several mornings so that she could work with me. I wound up getting a C in the class, but it was one of the most powerful things that anyone could have done, because I learned to live out my value for hard work even when it feels like I can’t do it.
I would rather hear, “What are you doing? This isn’t like you,” from a beloved mentor than “Great job!” from someone who isn’t invested in me. When someone I love corrects me, I know that they care enough about me to go through the discomfort of saying hard things for my sake.
This is Ms. Cox, one of my high school English teachers, who was always encouraging me to grow and helping me make good decisions.
Mentors Challenge You to Grow
My mentors can see where I need to grow, and they push me in those areas. I long to be a person who is emotionally and spiritually healthy, who is integrous in every situation. I would like to communicate with genuine love for every person I meet, and to be courageous enough to stick to my convictions no matter what. While I have some measure of all of these things, I’m a long way from where I need to be, and I need to be reminded when I’m falling short.
Kenyon’s chaplain, Rachel Kessler, is always challenging me to take better care of myself. When I am too hard on myself, trying to take on too much, or just not taking time for my emotional health, she reminds me that I’m falling short and encourages me to grow.
Your weakest areas will never improve until you invite others into the process of self-improvement, because what you really need is to draw on their strength. Mentors have years of experience doing the same things that you are learning to do now, so you can reap the benefits of the lessons that they learned the hard way.
This is Jenn and Zane. They served as the advisors to Kenyon’s Christian group for my first three years at Kenyon, and their enthusiastic support of my semester off showed me that I was making the right decision.
Mentors See Your Blind Spots
Consulting a mentor before a big decision is like turning your head around to check your blind spots before changing lanes on the highway: your mentor will catch things that you won’t. When it comes to making big decisions, we all have blind spots, and we can miss major red flags if we leave those blind spots unchecked.
In any major decision, it’s easy to be carried away by your emotions and line of reasoning. When this happens, you can forget to consider other perspectives, and your decisions can have unintended consequences. A mentor will see things that you don’t, and ask questions that you hadn’t thought of.
I decided to take a semester off rather suddenly this summer, but I wanted to be sure that I wasn’t making an impulsive decision that I would regret later. Although I was fairly certain that my reasoning was sound, I checked in with several mentors—and gave them permission to ask me the tough questions—to make sure that my motives were pure, and that it would be good for me. Once I had their support, I could make my decision with confidence because I knew that my weaknesses were covered and my wisdom supplemented.
This is Mr. Olsen, my high school music teacher, giving me an award in vocal music my senior year. This moment was incredibly special, because he had seen my growth over four years and helped me every step of the way.
Mentors Celebrate Your Successes
It’s just as easy to be blind to your growth as it is to miss your weaknesses. I tend to be hypercritical of myself, and so I often need to be reminded that even though I am not where I want to be, I am making progress.
I just had a one-on-one with my leaders here in Harrisburg, and I admitted to them that I was feeling frustrated with myself. I felt as though I wasn’t measuring up to the standard that I set for myself, and I felt discouraged. In true mentor fashion, they looked me in the eye and reminded me of all the growth that they had seen in me over the last few months. They celebrated with me that I am kinder to myself, more intentional with my relationships, and spiritually stronger than I was two months ago. They encouraged me to celebrate the growth rather than focusing on my weaknesses.
There is nothing better than hearing, “Well done” from a mentor, because they have seen the whole process, all the blood, sweat, and tears that it took to get there. Anyone can recognize the results of success, but it’s so much more fulfilling to celebrate it with those who were there for the whole journey.
This is Tannon and Cristina, my leaders here in Harrisburg. They have encouraged me, reminded me who I am when I forget, and walked me through the process of growth over the last few months.
Mentors Believe in You When You Don’t Believe in Yourself
Last spring, I visited my high school and saw several of my high school mentors. One of the first things that I wanted to share with each of them was that I actually believed in myself now, and to thank them for believing in me when I didn’t know how to believe in myself.
When someone believes in you, it gives you the strength and courage to keep fighting for your dreams even though you may feel like giving up. There is something unbelievably powerful about knowing that there is someone in your corner when it feels like everything is falling apart and having someone to encourage you when it feels like a breakthrough will never come.
Everyone needs the wisdom, perspective, and support of a mentor in their lives. To all of my mentors past and present, thank you so much for the ways that you have stuck by me in difficult situations, encouraged and loved me, taught me the hard lessons, and safeguarded my blind spots. If you have a mentor, be sure to thank them. If you don’t, go find one. It will change your life.
Image Credit: Maggie Griffin