“I think [race] is outdated…we’re all part of the human race.”
“I’m a pilot about to fly to South Carolina, what’s up?”
“I’m currently hanging a microwave, can you call back in 45 minutes?”
“Shame, shame, shame! This is the Lord’s day, praise him!”
“We’re raising a bunch of nanny babies here.”
“My cat is a terrible receptionist.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, raise the roof!”
“You’re interrupting cocktail hour!”
“But my friend lost his pants and we need to find them.”
“They’re all a bunch of f**k s**ts.”
“Kill them all and let God deal with y’all. Good day.”
“I don’t want no towelheads coming in to my shop.”
“I am so f**king white it’s not even funny.”
“Wanna go out to supper sometime?…No I’m serious.”
“Well I think that’s stupid.”
“My website: www.godauthoredbible.com.”
“That woman’s sick.”
“I don’t want to talk about this s**t, everyone is terrible, bye!”
*growls and hangs up*
These quotes are from random phone numbers being dialed by an undisclosed public policy center. Any disclosure of the center or of the author is prohibited by the director.