Recently, I went to get my bridesmaid dress for my cousin’s wedding. I was extremely excited to go. I hadn’t seen the dress she had chosen yet, and I have never been in someone’s wedding before, so this was all new to me. Thankfully I was with my other two cousins, Sara and Lynn, so they were going to show me the ropes. Sara and Lynn are both gorgeous girls, and very skinny. Actually most of my family is that way, I am one of the biggest ones, and I’m a size 4. I knew what I was getting myself into, knowing that my size was going to be larger than theirs. What I experienced however, was much worse than I could have ever imagined. We got measured and the gal working got the sizes for both of my cousins, then she turned and said, “I’m going to need to find a size 8”. I was on the brink of tears, I didn’t even know what to say. Sara, trying to make things better, made a remark of me having large breasts, and wishing she had a pair to fit in a size eight. At that point, I didn’t hear a word she was saying, all I could think was how fat I was, and how bad that lady had just made me feel. We all went in the fitting rooms and came out with the dresses on. She looked at Lynn and pulled in the size zero she had on. When she got to me, she looked, slightly disgusted and asked if the 8 was big enough. Now, trying to cover up my hurt, I turned to sarcasm and laughed it off saying, “well I am not getting any bigger” and walked back into the fitting room. I had to get out of there, and that room was my only safe zone at the time, I tore the dress off and changed as fast as I possibly could. Seeing myself with all those mirrors around was hard enough, but having someone rub it in my face made it that much worse.
My entire day was ruined. Why did the sales woman have to be so mean? The minute I got home my boyfriend, he knew I was upset about something. After a few minutes of prying information from me about how the fitting went, I started bawling. All I could get out was that I was fat. He hates hearing me say that, knowing all that I’ve been through with my weight, so he instantly began denying it. When I finally got the story out of what had happened to me that day in the bridal shop he was livid.
I have never felt so bad about my body in my entire life, and I am not a big girl. I have boobs, and a butt, there is nothing wrong with that. Instead of making women feel bad about their bodies, these women should be embracing them. A sales women in this department can do one of two things for females coming into their business: they can make them feel like complete crap, or they can make them feel beautiful. This company did not make me feel beautiful, and she did not make my cousins feel beautiful either. There are a few things I have learned from this experience. The first is that every women is beautiful in her own way, and no one should be allowed to make her feel different. If you’re healthy, you should be happy with your body, it’s the only one you get. The second is even a tone of voice or simple words can crush a woman’s self-image, and it shouldn’t be that way but that’s the way our society is. The final lesson I learned is that I will never go back to that bridal shop again, I will not allow them make me or any other women feel the way they made me feel that day.
*Names were changed to protect the identity of participants