LDR’s (long distance relationships) are notoriously difficult to navigate. How often should you talk to each other? How long is too long to not see each other? What about arguments? So many questions, and whilst every relationship and friendship is different, there are a few guidelines that you should always consider in your LDR.
Missing them will happen, and that’s okay.
Of course you are going to miss them. Your boyfriend, girlfriend, best friend… it’s completely normal and to be expected. What you can’t let yourself do is just sit around at home missing them and waiting for them to text or call you. Missing someone is really hard, and the only way to cope with those feelings is by distracting yourself. Go out with friends, find hobbies you enjoy and can put time and attention into. Don’t sit around waiting. They will talk to you, but the busier you both are the better in the long run.
Don’t talk all the time
Whilst this may make you feel better in the moment, long term this is no solution, and it just ends with you both missing out on the things around you and resenting the other person because you blame them for your lack of other friends and boredom when they aren’t around. Try and talk every day if you can, even if it’s just for 5 minutes to say goodnight at the end of the day, but at the same time don’t freak out if you don’t manage to chat every day. You’ll both naturally find a pattern that fits you, but don’t force a message every 5 minutes just for the sake of it.
Make time for each other, but know you still have other commitments
Obviously, it is crucial that you still see one another and talk to sustain your relationship, but you have to respect each other’s workloads and schedules. University is a difficult time for balancing your work and social life, so giving the other person time and space to get on top of their assignments will mean that the time you spend together will be stress free and you’ll both be grateful to the other for respecting that you have other commitments. Win-win.
Trust
The final and definitely most important point here is trust. In a relationship, this is a must have anyway, but when you’re in an LDR it’s even more essential. You will inevitably be going long periods without seeing each other, and sometimes without even being able to talk. At the end of the day you need to ask yourself how much you really trust the other person to not cheat, and commit to seeing you, before you decide on having a long distance relationship. If you can’t believe in that person 100%, maybe an LDR isn’t for you, that’s the harsh reality. However, it can make couples better, as without 100% trust, should you even be with that person?
That’s it, a handy and universal top 4 tips to survive any LDR, whether you are best friends or partners, that’s the recipe for making it through. University may be hard, and you might really miss that person, but the key is in enjoying whatever you are doing in the moment, and trusting that person will be there for you when you get back.
Edited by Nicole Swain
Sources:
http://cosmeticdentistofmichigan.com/2013/02/womens-heart-and-dental-health/heart-hands/
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/hannah-barbakoff/texting-the-relationship-killer_b_5185115.html
http://picturexplore.blogspot.co.uk/2014/05/romantic-pictures-of-lovers-holding.html