It’s is the most anticipated fashion show of the year.
It’s the event you tell yourself every year you’re not going to watch.
And just like that, it’s 2016 and you’re grabbing the chip bowl, and all your girlfriends, and making your way to the TV.
The 2016 Victoria Secret Fashion Show: Paris
(Turn volume on the TV up)
(First model walks out)
This is the moment you realize that you’ve made a horrible mistake in watching it, and you might as well call the gym right now.
(6th model walks out)
Your mind goes through a rollercoaster of emotions.
Maybe you could get a membership to the 24-hour gym, just in case you want to try going twice a day.
Are her boobs really that size?
(Second session starts)
She is so gorgeous; how does she have three children?
Do you think she’s over 7 foot?
(Third session starts)
Wow I want those shoes!
Holy crap! I LOVE this song!
One minute you are in admiration, then the next minute you’re in disbelief, and finally you reach the stage of depression and zero self-worth.
(Show ends and all the models enter the stage for a last goodbye)
You look into your empty chip bowl and are overcome with a tidal wave of regret, and indignity.
Your friends are feeling it too and all at once you start to pick out every flaw on your body, and admit every ghastly thing you’ve put in your mouth since last December.
You make a pact that by nexe year, you’ll all look as good as Bella Hadid does on the runway.
You head to bed early and set your alarm for 6:00 a.m. for your early workout session.
(Next morning the alarm rings)
You wake up startled by your ring tone, look at your phone, and silence it.
This happens about three times.
You eventually go back to sleep.
(Wake up)
The guilt starts to set in, and the cycle of shame, and disgrace starts all over.
Then you think to yourself.
“Well…..there’s always next year!”