College is a good chance to date as many new people as you can. As someone that has done a lot of that recently, times like this get difficult. While I’m walking home cold and alone after another bad date with another Mr. Wrong, my closest friends and family members find themselves snuggling up to their established significant others. I even notice friends developing brand new budding romances, and I fall behind.
I get it, watching couples holding hands and being merry and being cute out on the street can be a major kick to the ego.
And if you’re anything like me, there are many thoughts that may run through your mind;
“Do I need to get *name of casual dating partner here* something? Is that weird?”
Yes, please don’t do that.
“I want a stable relationship like his or hers or theirs,” my fellow single ladies all sing at once.
“Why can’t I have that? What am I doing wrong?”
Actually, you’re not doing anything wrong my lovely friend. If you’re single this holiday season, or at least stuck in a limbo with one or a few potentials this holiday season, you’re quite possibly more lucky than you think.
As a disclaimer, let’s be real: there’s not one human out there not looking for that special someone, however, just because you’re not finding one just yet doesn’t mean you should sweat it. In fact, It could be thoroughly enjoyable being single around this time of year.
If you’re ever caught in a bind where you feel you need to find that special someone, consider the following blessings you don’t even know you have. And I’ll leave the, “You don’t get to shave!!” out because by now you’ve heard it so many times it’s a major (and outdated) cliche. So i’ll spare you with that outrageous lie.
Here are the real, not-too-vain reasons why remaining single this season will benefit you:
You’re saving your dollars
I have to add this in before anything and I cannot stress this section enough. The boys that you may or may not have been causally seeing have a blessing in disguise to them; they’re CASUAL. Whether or not you want more out of it shouldn’t be a factor in deciding whether or not to buy something for them. If you’re super close friends then go for it, but if it’s strictly a light-dating situation, chances are he’s not expecting anything. Boom. One less person to spend your hard-earned money on. Unless he’s giving you something back and that’s established, do not waste your money, or your time. Wait until you know it’s real before putting too much pressure on an almost-there relationship.
You get to show your friends how much you care
If you’ve ever encountered someone who is in a semi-fresh relationship, you’d know (or definitely get an earful) of the outrageous lengths they go through to get something perfect and custom made for their special someone. I know what you’re thinking, “well I want someone to show that attention to! I don’t mind spending time and attention on someone I love!”
I’ll stop you there.
The greatest advice I have heard to this day is, you have to take that love you would have given to a significant other, and spread it around to your friends. Give THEM something super thoughtful, funny, creative, and even spendy. Show THEM you’re appreciative of all those times you’ve ranted about your dates and your boys to. Tell THEM that you love them and spend more time with them this holiday season. It will be much more beneficial to spend you time and pennies on your lasting relationships than it is to waste thoughts on a potential suitor.
You get to show your family how much you care
Yes it is that time where you have to go home, spend time in that god-awful little town you called home for something shy of 18 years, and see your parents and your family as they ask questions about school and money and politics and other family things that may or may not cause tension. But they ask you these things because they love the heck out of you and they want the best for you.
And as teeth-gritting as it sounds, the more time you spend with them the more they will appreciate each moment. Also being there with just yourself, no tension with trying to get your SO to impress them, and with no pressure of spending time with any other families, you will be showing your own family how much you truly care
You get to show yourself how much you care
Nothing beats SO time like undivided solo attention. Go shopping for yourself a little bit, look at some light shows, go to the mall alone so you can focus and get the gifts you need, do a little soul searching. As dorky as it sounds, I have had the greatest epiphanies of my life while being alone. Go to coffee shops and buy yourself a hot chocolate or a latte, read a book or instagram your tea and bask in the likes you’re receiving. Send some texts and voicemails to those you love while you’re at it. OH! Go buy yourself a lush bath bomb and take a super luxurious bath with candles and a ridiculously relaxing spotify playlist. Shave for yourself! Or dont! Catch up on sleep!!
Be and feel like the most pleasant version of yourself so that way you radiate a positive vibe to others around you.
So cancel your pity party about being single this holiday season. Pick yourself up, and be happy this holiday season. Your loved ones will thank you for it.
Credit to the cover photo goes to Julie Vorobyov.
Check our her work at www.julievorobyov.com