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To the Man Whose Heart I Broke

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UNT chapter.

To the Man Whose Heart I Broke, “It’s not you, it’s me”- a cliche saying, one that is rarely ever true. But in our case, I need you to know that it was.  You did everything right. You treated me better than anyone else ever has. You spoiled me, you were thoughtful, you put me first. You integrated me into your life and shared your deepest fears with me. You cared for me, you were there for me, you loved me. You did everything right. So I didn’t end this because of you. I ended it because of me. Because while you were loving me, I was struggling to love myself. Before you, there was a parade of men; some were lovers, some were hook ups, all stole my heart. When I met you, I wasn’t quite yet healed from the previous 8 months of damage. I hadn’t given myself the space to breathe and figure out what I really want or deserve. I jumped in, like I always do, without knowing or even wanting to know if I was ready for the long run.  I wasn’t, and I’m not. I can’t say I ever will be. And for that, I apologize. I am so sorry for wasting your time, and I am so sorry for making you watch me fall out of love with you. I’m sorry I couldn’t give you everything you deserve. I’m sorry I couldn’t love you like you needed because I was still learning to love myself. I’m sorry I broke your heart. I’m sorry I had to.  It wasn’t fair to keep you in a relationship where I wasn’t all in. Not when you were.  I will never forget you. I will never forget what you brought to my life. Here and now, I can still say you are the biggest blessing that has ever crossed my path.  So thank you. Thank you for reminding me to always keep a pack of Altoids in the car. Thank you for showing me Game of Thrones and seeing the fire of Danaerys inside of me. Thank you for listening to me cry about the troubles in my life without ever complaining. Thank you for teaching me to put myself first and really figure out who I want to be.  Most of all, thank you for showing me that incredible men like you do exist.  Love always, The Girl You Will Never Forget

 

Orooj Syed is a senior at the University of North Texas, majoring in Biology and minoring in Criminal Justice. Between balancing her academics and extracurricular activities, she enjoys finding new places to travel and new foods to eat. Writing has always been one of her greatest passions and, next to sleeping, she considers it a form of free therapy.