Life doesn’t always work the way we think it should. There are things that happen on a daily basis that make us question our sanity. It’s easy to be very short fused. It’s easy to feel unlucky, like life is working against us. In August of this year, I had a malignant brain tumor removed from the right side of my brain. This, among other major events that have occurred in my past, made me feel helpless. It made me feel like the bad things just never stopped coming. I had the surgery, thinking the tumor was benign. About one month of waiting and many lab tests later, I found out that my supposed benign tumor was actually a very malignant stage 4 Astrocytoma. I went to meet with my Oncologist that morning, fully preparing for the worst news. He told me that what they found was rare. The tumor looked like a benign tumor in the MRI, but the labs showed characteristics that were very malignant. It was at this moment that I really had to do some soul searching. I am not sure how one is supposed to feel or react after finding out this type of news. I have never been a very expressive person. I’ve always had the attitude that I need to keep things to myself and figure it out as I go. I just couldn’t help but to feel like my normal coping mechanism wasn’t going to get me through this. I knew that I couldn’t keep this in, but confiding in others wouldn’t really help me deal with it either. I sat down that night and prayed about the situation.
I realize that not everyone is religious. I’m not saying you need to be. I have always had a close relationship with God, but that night we got a lot closer. I sat in my apartment and asked myself how I was going to do it. How was I going to finish and enjoy my last year of college? How was I going to be the President of an organization? Was I going to be able to do it all while completing my treatment? I prayed that night and went to sleep. Again, I realize that not all of you are religious, and that is your preference. However, I woke up in the morning with a sense of peace. I couldn’t explain it. I just felt like I was going to be okay. I felt like no matter what happened, I would be just fine. I knew in that moment that the only explanation for getting through all of the hardships I had in life was God. So, from that day forward I put my faith in him. I let my faith overcome every other emotion and I decided to move on with my life. Of course, I had to do the treatment. Of course, I still had to deal with all of the hard things that other people deal with on a daily basis. But, nothing seemed “hard” anymore. “Hard” times became “okay how are we going to deal with this and move on?” I no longer looked at tough situations as unfortunate events. I just knew and know to this day that all things that happen must be dealt with. There is no reason to let negatives get you down. Put your trust in God and learn to problem solve.
Fast forward a few months and I’m better than ever. When you experience drastic events it really changes your outlook on life. There was a possibility that something terrible could have happened to me. But I’m here. As long as I’m here, I might as well live my life to the fullest, right? You should too! Life is so precious. Months later I’ve come to realize that I am thankful that I had to go through what I had to go through. I’m happy because it has changed me for the better. Something about being at your lowest point and being able to completely rebuild yourself is so empowering. It’s not easy, but if it was easy, everyone would do it. When you are at a low point in your life, take it as an opportunity. An opportunity to start fresh. I do realize that everyone handles situations differently, but these are just a few of the reasons why being down is the perfect opportunity to rebuild yourself.
“I am sure that God keeps no one waiting unless he sees that it is good for him to wait” – C. S. Lewis
It makes you reevaluate your goals. It all starts with having goals. It isn’t too often that we consciously think about the goals we have in life. Sure, every day we might be putting in effort and working to accomplish what we think we want out of life. How can you be so sure these are the things you want? A lot of us get caught up in rolling through the motions. We get so comfortable working toward what we think we want that it’s not too often we actually sit down and evaluate our real goals. We need to make these goals concrete. When you are feeling hurt or down, whether that be by a friend, a significant other, or a tragedy that occurred, you hurt because it feels like this mishap is getting in the way of achieving something you want in life. This is an opportunity to sit down, make a list of goals, and ask yourself if what you’re hurting over is really worth letting it get you down. Do you really need to be upset? Or can you problem solve and work through the problem? Sometimes it really is necessary to make a physical list of these goals. Seeing it in front of you can even make it more real. I truly believe that having goals gets me through every day. Even when I’m having a bad day, I know I have to keep working through it so it doesn’t set me back from achieving my goals. Don’t get me wrong, this will not happen over night. As long as you are consciously working toward making your life goals concrete, everything will finally fall into place. Set your goals and stick to them. Patience is a virtue.
“You attract the right things when you have a sense of who you are” – Amy Poehler
It makes us realize things we never realized before. Experiencing extreme hardships can really make it hard to focus on anything but the negatives. If we really sit back and think about our goals, we will be able to realize that we as individuals are the only people who control our futures. There is not a single person on this earth who completes you. Don’t get me wrong, you will meet people in life who compliment you very well. That person could be a friend, a significant other, even a family member. If that relationship doesn’t work out, realize that you are in control of your life. Surround yourself with those who are like minded. It is hard to stay goal-oriented when you are surrounded by unmotivated people. If someone doesn’t see you for the person you wish to be seen as, move on. Don’t associate yourself with those who don’t take you seriously. You will never need another person to complete you as long as you have evaluated your goals and know what you want. If you are confident in what you want out of life, you will know that you never want to be involved with anyone who doesn’t fully value you.
“Surround yourself with inspiring beings”
It makes you appreciate the good in life. It is easy to focus on the negatives. It’s really hard to keep a positive attitude 100% of the time. Just think about how happy you are when everything in life is going well for you. When times are tough and you keep pushing through to the good times, it makes those good times even better. Think of that feeling you feel when you can’t catch a break and then you finally do. It’s like a breath of fresh air. If we never went through any hard times it would be very hard to appreciate the good. Yes, the though times are unfortunate, but with a positive attitude you can make it through. When you do make it through, those good times will seem better than ever. You will really appreciate the life that you have, keeping in mind that nothing will ever be perfect. That’s part of the fun though. The unexpected is what keeps life interesting.
“You are what you do not what you say you’ll do”
You have a completely fresh start. If you are ever so down that you’re feeling at or close to your lowest point, think of that as an opportunity to start fresh. You don’t like the way things are going, so why not start over? You already feel like things can’t get much worse. You can completely turn your life around if you’re dedicate to those goals.
“Make less announcements, make more moves”
It gives us something to work toward. You could have simple goals. You could have really complex goals. Regardless of the type of goals and aspirations you have in life, nothing is unachievable. You TRULY have to believe that. Just like we look forward to the weekend or a vacation, you can look forward to the good times to get you through the bad. I realize that society makes this tough sometimes. There are always going to be people who want to bring you down. It’s important to realize that more often than not when someone wishes negativity upon you, it’s a problem within that person. It’s not because there is something wrong with you. The doubt of others should motivate you to work harder than ever. One thing I have realized is that pushing yourself through the absolute worst times and working through your toughest goals to come out successful will quiet down those who don’t believe in you. As long as you believe in yourself at all times, you are golden. Overcoming doubt and achieving what you once struggled to achieve is one of the most satisfying feelings in the world. Never get into a habit of using your hardships as an excuse. There is always someone who has it “worse” than you. Develop the mindset that hardship is opportunity to start fresh and never stop working toward your goals.
“I don’t know why people are so keen to put the details of their private lives in public; they forget that invisibility is a superpower”Â
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