This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at JCU chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.
How would my closest friends describe me in three words? Clumsy, klutzy, and accident-prone.
For those of you who can’t seem to get through the day without somehow embarrassing yourself, we are kindred spirits. *Bonus points if you’ve gotten to the point that it happens so much you don’t even feel shame anymore, you just laugh. You are what I like to call a “Gold Standard Klutz.”
If you can sheepishly admit that you completely relate to a few of these points, it’s okay, they’re ALL a part of my daily struggle. I’ve started to think about investing in one of those human sized hamster balls in a vain attempt at protecting myself and those around me, but it’s still in the works. Good luck fellow klutzes, don’t break a leg.
- Not only do I fall down stairs, I fall UP stairs. That’s talent.
- Flirting is a painstaking experience, because the whole time I’m just counting down the minutes until I somehow bring shame upon myself. But it’s all part of the charm, right?
- Seeing a cord in your path, being aware of its existence and its distance from your flailing, uncoordinated body, and STILL somehow tripping over it as you walk past.
- Waking up with various bruises on your body is not a cause for concern anymore, you just expect it by now.
- Wearing white is just not an option. My tide to-go pen is no match for my incredible ability to spill more of whatever I’m eating on my shirt than what actually ends up in my mouth.
- Falling is such a common occurrence, that I have mastered it to an art form. I know exactly how to land in order for minimal injury. (fun fact: if you’ve ever taken ice-skating lessons, one of the first things they teach you is how to fall “correctly.” It goes without saying that was the only lesson I did well in.)
- Accidently punching people, stepping on toes, falling onto others, etc. I’m not rude, I swear, I just cannot control my body about 99.99% of the time.
- The second it gets icy outside I am on defense at all times. No amount of traction on my boots will help, I will wipe out at least four times each winter.
- Store displays with anything breakable + tight aisles = my definition of a living nightmare. “You break it, you buy it” is a terrifying string of words.
- Carrying a bowl of soup or too-full cup of anything liquid results in a weird baby-step shuffle to prevent spilling it all over the floor/other people. This was one of the two most valuable lessons I learned being a busgirl. The other lesson was profusely apologizing when I spill hot coffee or soup on customers. My boss didn’t know what to do with me.
- Those ridiculous people you laugh at in the infomercials that can’t seem to carry out simple, daily tasks? That’s me.
- I smacked my head on the bottom of my lofted bed so hard that I got a mild concussion. On the bright side, I got an extension on taking my Spanish test (When you’re as accident prone as me, it’s all about finding those silver linings).