I mean, let’s get one thing straight first; I am currently writing this and it’s February. How long have Easter eggs already been in the shops for?
It calls for only one thing; to get creative, and find entertaining things to do with your Easter eggs, which cost as little as £1 – why not treat yourself?
1. Smash It Against Your Head
The standard 13 year old boy approach to Easter eggs. Too hard to break with your fingers alone, typical ways to break your Easter egg include punching it, throwing it against a wall, and this classic solution.
Yes, sometimes you might have to deal with minor concussion as a result, but it proves funny enough – especially for everyone around the idiot smashing it against their head – that it continues to be a traditional way to crack an egg. Don’t be boring and just bite into your egg, treat your friends to some humour and your head to a little bruising. It’ll make your egg taste 10x more satisfying, I promise.
2. Throw It At Your Housemate
For this, you will need one unwilling housemate (it helps if they’re the annoying one too – sorry Sam).
Picture the scene: you’ve just heard your housemate go downstairs, and you decide to seize this opportunity. You grab your egg, and creep downstairs, desperate to surprise them whether they like it or not.
The outcome will probably be that you’ll be ignored or have to grovel to your unsuspecting friend, but it is completely worth it for the laughs of literally seeing an egg be cracked over your friend’s head. 10/10 would recommend.
3. D.I.Y. Bowling
Have you ever found yourself in a bowling alley, or playing boules, and very surprisingly, find yourself without a bowling ball? Fear not. Enter the hero of the moment: the Easter egg.
Sure, the spherical egg isn’t the conventional tool for bowling activities, but who cares about tradition? Mix it up and try this option if you ever find yourself fancying a game of bowling and need makeshift props.
Hint – chocolate rabbits can be used as bowling pins. Just sayin’.
4. D.I.Y. Catapult
Personally my favourite option. All you will need is a makeshift slingshot – a bra would do perfectly. Slot the egg into your preferred slingshot and aim it wherever you want – the wall, an actual target, or, like before, you could use your unsuspecting housemate as a target…
This was suggested to me by my lovely friend Sophie, and is probably the least controversial and most productive use for an Easter egg. The benefit of this option is that you can legitimately eat chocolate for breakfast – something we all aspire to achieve.
There are various ways to use your egg as an edible bowl; you can fill it with cereal, cake, ice cream, or, my personal favourite, more chocolate.
All you need to do is halve your Easter egg – harder than it sounds – et voila.
Choose your filling and enjoy the edible bowl afterwards. Don’t worry, you can thank me (or Sophie) later.
Obviously, the boring alternative is to just eat your Easter egg. But where is the fun in that?!