As girls, we grow up believing that life is a fairy-tale and we have high expectations for falling in love, living happily ever after, and in particular, with that person we had a crush on in grade 6. But then we get to high school and start realizing that we will be in multiple relationships and will experience the WORST heartbreak ever (which we tell ourselves every time). So, each time this happens, we lay in bed, eat ice cream, watch super unrealistic romantic movies, and have long talks with our closest BFF’s. Then a week or two later, we are back on the lookout for the next person we want to start up a relationship with. However, there are SO many girls out there who won’t experience this, but somehow still experience a heartbreak that honestly is one of the worst feelings ever. This is due to the death of someone in their family. So to any girl who this applies to, this is for you.
Whether it is a parent, grandparent, sibling, or anyone who you truly loved, the heartbreak you feel when they are no longer living is something I would never wish on anyone. For the girls who experience this, we all know that it is a pain that changes our lives forever. So to those girls, it is important to know, you are not alone.
The first week after someone passes away is truly a state of shock and confusion. They were just here, and now you can’t visit them, or feel the touch of their hands as you interlock fingers and admire their beauty. It’s hard to accept that they really are gone, and you start questioning when the next time you’ll get to see them will be. You will probably cry every night for a very long time, and for a matter of fact, you will probably be angry. Why did they get sick? Why was their life cut so short? Why did this have to happen? You most likely will ask yourself these questions, but there really are no answers, and that’s something you have to accept. Whether it’s in terms of school, relationships, or other factors in life, I always tell myself that everything happens for a reason. But then, one of my very close family members passed away, and I thought to myself “if everything happens for a reason, then why did someone I love, someone who taught me the most important lessons in life, and someone who taught me to believe in myself, get taken from me?” That just makes no sense, and ultimately, this is what made me angry.
Then you have to deal with the funeral and other customs associated with your religion. You see the sadness and grief in the eyes of your family members and, although you’re surrounded by those who love you, you are missing one of the most important people in your life, and you just feel empty. You will be quite lifeless for a while, not wanting to eat, not wanting to talk to your friends, and not feeling as if your life has meaning without that one person who was taken too soon. This is the final goodbye to one of the most important people in your life, but it doesn’t have to be. What all the girls out there have to know is that you don’t have to say goodbye. The spirit of your loved one is going to be with you each day. Yes, you’ll feel it more some days than others, but they will be with you every step of the way, and will guide you to the most successful, loving, and happy life possible.
Sometimes, you have to let go of the grief you are holding for your loved one. For instance, my grandmother had been sick for a while. She suffered from Alzheimer’s, and by the end of her time, she was unsure of who most of the people in her family were. She wasn’t able to walk, and was also being taken care of by someone who had to be by her side 24/7. A life like this is not deserving of someone who started a legacy for my family, and who taught my dad, his siblings, my siblings, and all my cousins, some of the greatest lessons in life. So with this, I continue telling myself, my dad, and my other family members that she’s in a better place now. She is watching over us, and for the first time in a few years, she knows who we are. She recognizes us and is finally able to watch us as we continue to grow and succeed in life.
So, to all the girls out there whose hearts got broken when a family member passed away, just remember, you are not alone. Your loved one is looking down on you each and every day, and is so proud of all of the accomplishments you’ve made. Although they were your first heartbreak, they’ll be by your side the first time your heart breaks from your significant other, and all the other times it happens after that. They ultimately made you stronger, made you appreciate all of the little things in life, and allowed you to become a better person. To the girls reading this, I know what it’s like to lose a family member, and yes, it’s something that changed my life forever. However, I am trying to continue my grandmother’s legacy and be the person she would want me to be, and I encourage you all to do the same.