Let me preface this by saying how lucky I am to live in a world where this is the kind of dumb nonsense I can do. Also, let’s all agree right here and now to never tell my mom that my diet for the past two weeks was almost solely burritos.
My journey was a long and arduous one, filled with questions such as “is this really something I should spend money on” and “at what point will I sob into one of these tortillas stuffed with different meats, salsas, variations of avocado, and wonder what the point of this all is?” No longer will I make comments about how I could probably eat tacos or burritos for every meal. I know- I’m weak. But without further ado, here is the tale of my quest to find and rank the best burritos in the area.
La Victoria Taqueria (La Vic’s)
About 10 minutes from campus in Downtown San Jose, La Vic’s is a popular taqueria for SJSU and SCU students looking to get their fill of Mexican cuisine. Naturally, this was the first stop on #operationburrito. I ordered the “regular burrito” and requested the addition of guacamole (expect this to be a common theme – your girl likes avocado). It came with rice, beans, my choice of meat (in this case, chorizo), and salsa. To put it like the real professional food critic I am: it was awesome.
Overall Taste: It was exactly what I wanted with a burrito. I’m not a huge rice person so there may have been just a bit too much rice for my liking but everything else was nicely balanced taste wise. (physical burrito wise – a lot of the meat was on one side which meant taking smart bites).
Guacamole Ratio: I had to ask for guacamole and there wasn’t a ton of it. Aka – I didn’t see more than a green tint. Slightly disappointed on that front but it’s nice to know you can add guacamole.
Sauce: La Vic’s is known for their orange sauce and it lived up to the hype. You can get a couple of the little to-go cups of it if you’re taking your food home (in fact, they asked “how many?” before even asking if I wanted the orange sauce) and you should definitely snag as many as you can before they run you out or wonder if you’re starting a small restaurant of your own.
Coma?: I could not finish the whole burrito in one sitting and immediately fell into a comfortable food coma. However, it might be important to note that I did eat another small meal 20 minutes prior to getting this burrito so this might be my own doing.
Cafe Rosalena
If you’ve ever been hung over, you may be familiar with the Rosalena’s breakfast burrito. A beautiful combination of your choice of meat, eggs, potatoes, and cheese (though there are veggie options), Rosalena’s breakfast burritos are served all day and are absurdly good. My roommate brought me a sausage, egg, and potatoes after I came home from the gym at 1 p.m. I feel like I need to insert a disclaimer here that lets y’all know I am allergic to a lot of dairy products and so all my burritos are #dairyfree. I also feel like I need to tell you that burritos don’t count if you went to the gym prior.
Overall Taste: Amazing. I am a huge breakfast burrito fan and I get pretty upset when there’s just too much egg or there’s not enough distribution. Rosalena’s does not disappoint. It is the perfect ratio of meat to potato to egg.
Guacamole Ratio: Not applicable (do people eat their breakfast burritos with guac? Asking for a friend of course).
Sauce: The best sauce. Ask for the orange one. There may or may not still be some in my fridge.
Coma?: I feel like I was already in a coma based on the fact that it was an absurdly hot day and I had just worked out, but I finished the burrito because I’m not a quitter. I did consider sitting down in the shower out of exhaustion/full stomach. But I didn’t because I am still not a quitter. Most people can finish a whole one though no problem.
*disclaimer: I had Rosalena’s twice that week but I’m only recounting the most important and scientific experience.
Chipotle
Hahahahahaha just kidding.
El Guapos
If you’ve ever been to Campbell (and you’re 21 of course) you’ve gone to Aqui. But, what you’re missing is right across the street at El Guapo’s. A little taco and tequila bar of sorts, El Guapo’s is loud, crowded, and makes a hella good burrito. I ordered the El Guapo’s burrito and I got it fajita style (with veggies) with chorizo.
Overall Taste: Oh hell ya. I know that’s not a very professional review, but I’m not looking to make a Food Network career here. There was the perfect amount of rice to beans to meat to pico de gallo (which okay, pico in a burrito is just right). It was amazing.
Guacamole Ratio: The burrito didn’t come with avocado and let me tell you, ask and you shall receive. They put the perfect amount of guacamole on. And I could be wrong, but I don’t think they charged me extra.
Sauce: They’re not known for any special sauces, but honestly they don’t need to be. This nonsense was good.
Coma?: Oh 100%. But I also finished the burrito so…
In conclusion, all the burritos that I ate were awesome, but if you’re looking for the perfect burrito dinner, go with El Guapo. If you’re looking for a good lunch or late night snack, try La Vic’s. If you want a hangover meal or just a good Sunday breakfast, definitely eat at Cafe Rosalena. Or I guess Chipotle if you’re feeling inauthentic (But guac is extra).