This article has been syndicated from Written With Love, an InfluenceHer Collective Member. Read the full post here.
If thereâs one thing Iâve learned from starting fresh in a new city where I knew a grand total of zero people, itâs that making friends as an adult can be tiresome, daunting and at times, just plain awkward. Moving to a new place is one of the most exciting and liberating decisions a person can make, but for some, those initial months of getting settled in prove to be a real struggle. There were many a nights where Iâd sit cross-legged on the balcony of my cozy downtown apartment, glass of wine in tow, questioning my life choices. My boyfriend is a social butterfly who has relocated numerous times throughout his life, so naturally, he had no trouble adapting to a new environment. I, on the other hand, am somewhat of an introvert who had just made a cross-country move for the very first time and was still trying to grapple with reality.
What I did eventually realize was that just like anything else in life, friends were not going to show up at your doorstep. You have to put in the effort to find them, nurture them, and perhaps most crucial of all â know exactly where to look. While youâre probably not going to find replacement besties in a few days or even weeks, these tried-and-true methods to make friends in a new city will give you somewhere to start.
Join a club, group or league that meets regularly.
Whether you choose to spend your free time running several miles a day (count me out for cardio) or with your nose buried in a riveting novel, thereâs a pretty good chance that thereâs a group of people out there with similar hobbies. A weekly fitness class presents the opportunity to be around the same group of people on a consistent basis, making it that much easier to strike up conversations and for friendships to blossom. Meetup is an app dedicated to helping people find like-minded individuals in your area, and in my opinion, is one of the best way to make friends in a new city. A small number of groups require a yearly fee in order to become a member, but the vast majority of them are free. If the idea of meeting with a group of complete strangers sends your anxiety through the roof, opt to partake in a happy hour.
Sift through social media for people with common interests.
I realize how unconventional â and to be quite honest, creepy â that sounds, BUT I have met some truly amazing humans from the plethora of Facebook groups I am a member of. Upon moving to Austin, I joined as many Facebook networking groups as I possibly could. If youâve never taken the time to search through the âgroupsâ feature on Facebook, youâd be astonished at how many there are. A few months ago, I messaged a girl in a group called Austin Digital Jobs about how cool it was that she had her own freelance business after seeing her post in one of the groups â and yep, you guessed it â weâre friends now!
In another group, Girls New to Austin, I posted an open invitation to a girls-only pool party I was throwing at my apartment to commemorate the beginning of summer. I was a little nervous about blindly hosting an event because I wasnât sure who would show up â if anyone at all â but when the day finally rolled around, a slew of fabulous ladies showed up and it turned out to be a wonderful time. Yay for friends! Since then, Iâve made a solid group of girlfriends that I can pretty much count on to show up places, especially when brunch is involved (see picture below).
Network. Network. Network.
I canât stress this one enough. Iâve gone to several networking events put on by local organizations like Texas Young Professionals, BossBabes ATX, and Young Womenâs Alliance, and Iâve met some really wonderful people throughout the process. I had a stack of about 200 business cards printed up last year when I changed website domains, and each time I go to a networking event, I make it a personal goal to hand out at least 10. Setting a goal like this forces you to break out of your bubble (which I am oh so guilty of) and chat with people you normally wouldnât otherwise. You can network through your coworkers, through social media, through friends of friends â it doesnât matter how you do it, just do it!
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