If you walk around a college campus today, you’re bound to see students with their cell phones at hand, their headphones glued to their ears, and laptops at work. This is a scene you would not have encountered in the early 2000’s. Technology has come quite a long way since then, but what gadgets and toys were left in the past that we didn’t realize we needed today?
The Walkman
Yes, we all have iPhones and Androids with music at our disposal, but what a statement a Walkman would make. Imagine packing up after class, taking out your portable CD player, inserting your favorite disc, securing those hefty (and very stylish) headphones around your ears, and STRUTTING through the halls of St. Ed’s to the Backstreet Boys. First of all, you get to play CD’s which means you also get to make CD’s. Instead of saying “go follow my Spotify playlist” to your friends, you get to say “yo, who wants a copy of my dank mixtape?!” Secondly, if you’re carrying around a mechanical circle the size of a small dinner plate with headphones attached, you’re obviously occupied. This makes it so easy to be antisocial on those days where you just don’t want to interact with anyone.
Tooth Tunes
Admit it, sharing a bathroom with twenty-plus people isn’t the most comfortable thing. I get up in the morning and a lot of times I would rather not see anyone while I’m getting myself ready for the day, but there’s nothing I can do about it. Brushing your teeth next to someone in a communal bathroom has got to be one of the most uncomfortable things someone could ever experience. You can’t talk (unless you want toothpaste dripping down the side of your face), you try to avoid making eye contact via the mirror in front of you, and you don’t want to be the first one done brushing because then that means your teeth aren’t as clean as your competitor’s. If we all had Tooth Tunes toothbrushes, all of these problems could be solved. The silence would obviously be ended by the jams playing from the bottom of the handle, you and your floormate would both be too busy busting dance moves to even find time to make eye contact, and you’re both expected to stop brushing when the song ends so the competitive factor is eliminated! Nothing says clean mouth like a toothbrush that sings Smash Mouth, am I right?!
Portable DVD Players
We all have those days when we don’t want to be bothered. Schoolwork? No. Professors? No. Peers? No. Movies? YES. Luckily, with the classic SONY portable DVD player, self entertainment has gone incognito! This handy gadget looks, feels, sounds, smells, and tastes like your everyday laptop. In the library, but don’t want people to know you’re not actually studying? Pop in your favorite flick and make sure your back is against a wall! As long as nobody can see Troy and Gabriella “breaking free” on your screen, you could be writing a book for anyone knows! In class, but need a break? Turn on those subtitles and refrain from plugging in headphones; this is sure to blow your cover. As long as nobody notices the keyboardless base of your “laptop,” your personal movie theater should thrive. Sitting in Alliot, but don’t feel like chatting? Go grab some french fries, kick your feet up on the chair next to you, and blatantly watch John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John sing about their “summer nights” (singing aloud is appropriate).
Skip-It
I think it’s pretty safe to say that exercise can be a college student’s worst nightmare. Between class, homework, and club meetings it’s hard to find time to feed ourselves nevermind stay in shape. With a Skip-It, there’s no need to go to the gym or change locations at all! It would be so simple to grab your Skip-It and just start skipping in your room, the library, or really any other public setting. Just warn people to stay approximately feet away at all times and no lives should be threatened here! Next time your body-builder friends want you to come to the gym with them, don’t say “f*** it” as tempting as that is. Simply say “nah, I’d rather Skip-It” (pun very intended).
Easy-Bake Oven
I get it, the dining hall food isn’t the best. I’ve never met anyone that gets genuinely excited to eat the food we find in Alliot, but it gets the job done. I think it’s easy to say that dessert isn’t really Sodexo’s strongest suit; don’t get me wrong, the soft serve machine never fails to satisfy, but when it comes to pastries they’re a hit or a miss. If we all just had Easy-Bake Ovens, we could totally make it up to our disappointed sweet tooth. The satisfaction of inserting soupy cake mix into the plastic oven and having it come out looking like a personal birthday celebration is truly incomparable.
In short, if Marty McFly could bring 5 things “back to the future,” I really hope he’d bring us these.
Image Sources:
Image 1: https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/41D1QYYE92L.jpg
Image 2: http://ghk.h-cdn.co/assets/15/38/1442521517-easy-bake-oven-1993.jpg
Image 3: http://www.entertainmentearth.com/images/AUTOIMAGES/H76701lg.jpg
Image 5: http://disco90s.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/skipit.jpg