When you were growing up, there was always that one question everyone asked you, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” We all had similar answers like a teacher, an astronaut, a princess or a police officer. But me? I always wanted to be a nurse. I used to imagine myself in a hospital wearing pink scrubs, being surrounded by pasty, white walls and “get well soon” balloons. I love the curiosity of not knowing what is going to happen next or what is going on in each of these people’s lives as they sit anxiously in the waiting rooms. It has never been a hesitation in my mind that I wanted to make a career out of helping people.
Throughout the past 3 years of my life, I have gone to hell and back. I have dealt with the continuous processes of failure and little spats of hope. The mixture of these emotions has caused me to go through such a rollercoaster, yet has helped me find a little more strength from within myself. I have been smacked in the face, and told I wasn’t good enough. I have been rejected, discouraged and knocked down so many times that at one point it took all the courage I had in myself to stand back up again. There were days when everything felt wrong and my life felt like it was taking a turn for the worst.
But through all the heartache and doubtful decision making, nursing has always been my life. Although these are perks, it’s never been about the money for me or that I’ll most likely always have a job. It’s not about how I will look or the success that life will bring me. To me, it’s always been about how I will make others feel in a time of desperate need. It’s taking the struggle that I’ve dealt with and helping others through theirs. It’s making someone laugh when everything feels hopeless. It’s telling someone they get to go home after months of chemotherapy and saying, “you’ve made the best progress today.” It’s the little joys I can bring to them when they feel so lost and alone that will get me up at the crack of dawn each morning and stay late each night.
There is not a doubt in my mind that I know I can be the best nurse I can possibly be, because without struggle there is no progress and room for growth. I’ve survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me. To all the nursing students who are struggling and feeling lost, keep fighting. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Because when you fall down seven times, stand up eight.