Five Things You Should Never Say To A Person of Color

Note: Saying “No offense,” doesn’t make it acceptable. Here are five things you shouldn’t say to a person of color.“Your English is so good.”

1. Assuming someone’s language proficiency based on their race is extremely problematic, especially if they were born, raised, and/or have lived in an English-speaking area.

I am the child of Sierra Leonean immigrants and was born in the United States. I will never forget when I told a classmate about my heritage and she replied by ‘praising’ my English skills. I found it particularly insulting because we were born and raised in the same county, attended the same school, took the same classes and she still assumed my English skills were weak.

This remark is also insulting to immigrants, as many school systems around the world have mandatory English proficiency requirements. English is one of the world’s top lingua francas (languages used to communicate between those who don’t share a common language). “English is the most-studied foreign language across almost all European countries and at all education levels,” whereas only 25% of American adults report speaking another language (Devlin).  

1. “You got into *insert university here*? Do you play sports?”

A person of color got into university because they worked hard and applied themselves academically. The sports scholarship stereotype is problematic because people of color are seen as forms of entertainment or revenue before they are seen as human beings with academic potential.

Not every person of color is an athlete or entertainer, and they don’t have to be.  Although there are people of color who earn scholarships, many are for merit, and those who do receive athletic scholarships are not attending school simply for your viewing pleasure.

1. “Is that your real hair?”

A person of color does not owe anyone their hair story, nor do they have to let anyone touch their hair. There is no harm in giving a person of color a compliment on their hair, but continuously gawking or pestering them about it can make them feel uncomfortable, as if they’re a museum exhibit.

1. “You don’t look/act like you’re *insert race here*.”

So, what are they supposed to look/act like? This statement tells a person of color they’re a stereotype before they’re a human being. People of color have varied personalities and DNA, which shouldn’t be put into a one-size-fits-all box.  Get to know people as people, not their stereotypes.

1. “You’re one of the good ones”

This remark is not flattering at all, it insinuates that a person of color is sub-par until they’ve ‘proved’ themselves to be decent. ‘Decent’ often means neglecting their cultural norms, which no one should feel obligated to do in order to be accepted. No race is ‘good’ or ‘bad’, people are.

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