You guys, season 22 of The Bachelor has been no joke. In just two episodes we’ve already seen two one-on-ones, met Arie’s parents, viewed a plethora of baby photos, and even watched a girl get hysterical on national television because a demolition derby group date triggered her to a traumatic childhood bumper car experience. More of this, please and thank you.
Though Arie Luyendyk Jr. and his 29 women have been entertaining AF, even the most extreme messes among us have to admit that some of the moments from tonight’s episode were too unbelievable. Get ready to feel some scorching secondhand embarrassment, and let’s recap the situations that had us choking.
1. The fact that Arie gifted Becca with a full set of Neil Lane jewelry on their first date
This girl just got a whole Rachel Zoe collection, a pair of Louboutins, AND a diamond set of Neil Lane diamonds ON A FIRST DATE….& ya girl can’t even get a text back. #TheBachelor
— Kenj (@KendraFetzer) January 9, 2018
He even put the earrings IN HER EARS for her. And let Rachel Zoe style her. Like, just propose to the girl already.
2. When Arie took Krystal to meet his entire family
If a guy introduced me to his family on the first date I’d be like #TheBachelor pic.twitter.com/C6IMCVay7j
— Olivia Caridi (@OliviaCaridi) January 9, 2018
I would have tapped out so fast.
3. Annaliese trying to play off that she has bumper car trauma, & that’s why she can’t even on this date right now
Whoever thought up this #UnsolvedMysteries reenactment for Annaliese’s bumper car trauma needs a raise, pronto. #TheBachelor pic.twitter.com/CGSIxO6obf
— Kristen Baldwin (@KristenGBaldwin) January 9, 2018
This girl literally was bawling as she recounted a childhood bumper car story that left her scarred for life––except that nothing bad happened to her. She felt trauma just because.
4. The multiple makeout sessions between Bekah and Arie that had us dry heaving
Everytime there is a kiss #TheBachelor pic.twitter.com/cPVu9VGgRB
— Jynifer #ProtectDom (@Jen_Wyatt8905) January 9, 2018
Bekah is 22 and Arie is 36, so basically their hot and heavy kissing is making everyone uncomfy.
5. Bibiana & Krystal giving us mid-season drama, but on week two
And that’s not even the mic drop. #TheBachelor pic.twitter.com/FHxZwT04Iz
— The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) January 9, 2018
“When you learn to speak to me like a normal human being and not a fake tone, I can actually respect you and listen to you,” Bibiana spits at Krystal as I inhale sharply.
Well, that’s two weeks down, but there many more evenings of pillow lips and unearthed childhood trauma to come. Follow our Bachelor updates here, and we’ll see you next week.
Header image: Arie Luyendyk / Instagram