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St Vincent | Life

New Year, Old Habits

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anonymous Student Contributor, Saint Vincent College
Juli Cehula Student Contributor, Saint Vincent College
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at St Vincent chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

Each new year, women everywhere vow to make changes. Changes that involve taking a step back from toxic relationships, whether it is from their friends, lovers, or their families. This is one of the hardest, but most important things any woman can do for herself. So why do we always see our friends and loved ones still struggling through a relationship that isn’t worth fighting for? Here are a few reasons to explain why old habits die hard. 

 

· Comfort 

 

Too often we surround ourselves with people or things that are familiar to us. When you are constantly in toxic relationships, it is hard to realize that you deserve better. This is when comfort comes into play and breaking away from these relationships with friends and family could create too much change at one time for a person to handle. Everything takes time. You have to be willing and motivated to take the time to make the change. 

 

· Dependency 

 

When you are in a relationship, with a man or woman, and you never had the ability to be in control of finances, your career, or even the outfits you wear, you might find it hard to be on your own and make your own decisions. When your family pays for your education or any other luxuries, they could abuse their power and influence your decisions to their beliefs. Trying to be on your own will be a long hard road, but it is possible and worth it. 

 

· Fear of the Unknown 

 

Everyone has a plan for themselves. Sometimes it can be hard to see past that plan and easy to get steered away from it. Life can always throw you a curve ball when you’re least expecting it. A healthy relationship can turn toxic at any point, but you have the ability to make the change. We see our friends in bad relationships between their other friends or even their significant other, and wonder why they won’t leave, but the reason may be the future feels like a unchartered territory they may not be ready to face. The future can be intimidating when you don’t have the people around you that you have grown with in some way. The future is unknown and life is always changing, but you get a choice in creating your future. 

 

One thing for sure, life is constantly changing and you get to be a part of the change! When you are sitting there wondering what to do or feel like you have nowhere to turn, always remember there is a group of powerful women behind you. These women are the ones who lift you up when you feel like you are only going down. These are the women who smile at you and bring a little bit of light into your dark day. These are the women who want nothing but the best for you and will love and support you in everything you do. Know your self-worth and know that you deserve better. Be the change, because these women are the change.

 

HCXO,

Dorothy 

Juli Cehula

St Vincent '18

Hello there! I am the Campus Correspondent of the Her Campus chapter at Saint Vincent College. As a senior psychology major, I've made the most of my time in undergrad and am excited for all the doors I have opening ahead of me. I can definitely thank Her Campus for giving me invaluable skills. As a future psychologist, I hope that my articles (and the chapter's) are able to make you feel empowered, motivate you to start a conversation, and be kind. As a hero of mine has said, "If you do not take control over your time and your life, other people will gobble it up. If you don't prioritize yourself, you constantly start falling lower and lower on your list."- Michelle Obama. Be the change you want to see in the world, and smile. Always smile!