Be nice to yourself.
What does this mean exactly? It means that if you are struggling, then help yourself get out of the situation. In psychology, there’s a concept known as “learned helplessness”. As defined, it’s the idea that once we encounter an unpleasant or aversive stimulus, we become unable to avoid the stimulus because we perceive that we cannot control the situation. Instead we criticize ourselves and our abilities to a point where we feel completely helpless, and thus are unable to move forward. If this sounds familiar, then you’re not alone.
I wrote this article as a reminder to you and myself about the importance of forgiveness when it comes to our mistakes, struggles, and frustrations. If you feel like you cannot handle the challenging coursework for a class, stop criticizing yourself. It’s a learning process the entire way. Even though you might not understand it completely at this point, you know more than you did yesterday. If you don’t have a six-pack after a couple weeks of vigorous exercise, hang in there. Be patient and consistent with your workouts and diet. The results will come with time. If you’re unsuccessful at finding the perfect job or internship, don’t give up. Continue to work towards the dream job and putting yourself out there as a competitive candidate. Do what it takes to become a stronger contender, whether that’s learning a new skill, fine-tuning your interview skills, or reading up on the latest trends within that industry.
It’s so easy to put on our tunnel-vision goggles on what we perceive to be our failures and weaknesses, rather than focusing in on the accomplishments we’ve made along the way. If you’re consistent and if you continue working at it, chances are you’ll find yourself in a better position. Instead of putting yourself down, encourage yourself. Pat yourself on the back for a long night of studying at the library or increasing the intensity of your workouts by ever so much. Treat yourself with the same amount of patience you would treat a child learning a new subject for the first time, because we all must start from somewhere. The difference between who you are now and who you want to become is a matter of hard work, patience, and consistency.