1. Discover who and what you want
Life=discovery. Life=new opportunities. Life=not knowing what the heck is going on. Roll with this. When you are young there is this amazing opportunity for experimenting. You have the chance to love with your whole being and whether or not it works out, you learn something. Try everything you want to. Explore (SAFELY!) every curiosity you have and determine who, and what, it is you want most. There is no right or wrong. There is no “too far.” If you are safe and happy with your life, then you deserve to have that happiness, no matter what it includes.
2. Tear the labels off!
This world (and especially this country) loves to put people in boxes. We put boxes around age, race, gender, ethnicity, and sexual orientation. I am here to say that while it may appear on paper-YOUR BOX DOESN’T MATTER! The box you check off does not define you. Much like 70% of our planet, love and attraction are fluid (A.K.A. every changing). You are allowed to change preferences. So as far as you know you are lesbian-but now you find you are attracted to a man-GO FOR IT! You are not confined to a box and not limited by a label. You are allowed to do what makes you happy.
3. Look like whatever the heck you want
Pixie cut? Awesome. Mohawk? Right on! Long hair? Perfect! What you look like may determine how some of society sees you, but do not for a second think that your appearance is a qualifying queer factor for your gay entrance exam. There is no certain way to appear as the sexuality you feel.
4. Have no apologies
So the guy at the party is hitting on you and you are absolutely not interested. DO NOT APOLOGIZE! Say “I think you’re looking for a different person,” or “I’m really not your type, I’m more into women.” Or if you aren’t into women-but just aren’t into him-Say that! If he gets pushy, get friends involved. Do not let yourself feel like anyone else is in charge of your sexuality except yourself. Lesbian, Bisexual, gay, pan, poly, whatever you decide to be-You are you and you owe nothing to anybody to define yourself.
5. Ignore the hate-you get enough as it is.
Women are faced with prejudice on the daily. It can be argued until we’re all choking on the cliches, but this is an undeniable fact. Women are constantly met with “You’re not strong enough,” or “You’re too soft-spoken.” On the contrary, if there is a woman in power they are met with, “You are too demanding and overpowering,” or “How do you expect to find love with that commanding attitude?” Women in this country receive a lot of hate- Your love should not be one of them.
If you are ever met with prejudice or judgment over the person you choose to love-or just to sleep with-there is something important you need to know. The people making the comments HATE YOU-But, not for the reason you may think! They hate that you are able to make decisions they can’t. You see- they are confined by boxes-you aren’t.
*Feature image courtesy of The Queer Community
*All other images courtesy of unsplash.com
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