Anxious

Heart racing

Like erratic beating of the drums

Out of sync, out of control

A familiar rhythm in my life

The metallic taste in my mouth

The taste of invisible blood

I can’t spit it out, no matter how much I try

The flavor of iron remains

My stomach churns

I try to keep my food down

The nausea takes over, I vomit into the sink

I don’t stop till it’s emptied

I sweat uncontrollably

The feeling of sweat you get when you’re ill

I shower repeatedly, trying in vain to cool down

Repeatedly, it fails

My mind is racing at lightning speed

My paranoia out of control

I lie in bed, hoping for it to end

Hoping for some peace

There is no comfort from it

There is no escape from it

The ever-present, familiar anxiety

Anxiety, it always wins