If you are an awkward introvert like me, then dating can be a minefield of horrible small talk, awkward silences, and uncomfortable coffee dates. The whole thing can be exhausting both socially and emotionally, and that doesn’t even begin to describe how hard it is to simply find someone to go on a date with. Nevertheless, your friends are pressuring you to get out there again, and honestly, you’re young why not?
1. You decided to give in and finally try the Tinder
So you’re debating getting a Tinder. You mull it over for weeks until you finally decide to dive right in. You’ve mulled over the pro and cons and realized you’re young. You should be out there taking names and breaking hearts….right? Sure the idea of a meet-cute still is in the back of your hopeless romantic head, but you aren’t meeting datable guys in your daily life anyway. What if all the horror stories of dreadful dates and strict hookups are true? On the other hand, what if you actually meet a good guy? You finally take the plunge and take life by the reins. You are a strong independent modern woman!
2. Making the actual profile
Simple, find a couple pictures and come up with something funny for your bio. Piece of cake. Until you look through your camera roll and quickly realize that all of your pictures include friends, family or animals. You have no cute selfies that make you look attractive and datable. No, in fact, the limited selfies you do have all have you making weird faces or multiple chins. Still, you power through and eventually find a few non-offensive ones. Thank the heavens! You move on only to find that it wants you to make a bio! You can’t possibly sum up how amazing you are in 500 words! You quickly put something about dogs because let’s be real, if a guy doesn’t like dogs then it’s just not going to work anyways.
3. Actually swiping around
This is terrifying at first. You’re overly picky about who you swipe right with because for probably the first time in your life you could be. You are judging these guys off of a couple pictures and maybe a bio. It’s terrifying and liberating to have that power. To be fair, you are a little too picky at times but hey who can blame you. If you’re spending what limited free time you have with these guys, you deserve to be a little picky.
4. The match!
You matched with a guy! Congrats! Now comes the hard part of horrible, mind-numbing small talk. You guys text for a while and he seems nice so you make plans to grab coffee later in the week. This is a huge step for you! You immediately regret agreeing as soon as you say yes because now this means you have to make small talk in person for at least thirty minutes unless you, of course, prefer to chug hot coffee. Not a horrible way to make the date end quickly, but realistically you’re stuck with this guy for an hour. Another point of concern is what do you wear? What if he looks nothing like his profile? What if you don’t know who he is when he walks in? What if he’s actually the worst? Your introverted self just wants to hide under a blanket and never come out again.
5. A guy sends a stupid message that makes you question humanity
You get a message that’s so random and out there that you question human beings altogether. Maybe it’s a guy with an ‘I will ruin you’ message that pops up. You wonder what is going through the poor sucker’s brain, but we all know he’s not thinking with the head on his shoulders. Did he actually think that would be a good opening line? Was it a joke with his friends? You almost hope, for his sake, that it was a bet. These guys are the cockroaches who poke their heads out and then scurry back into hiding as soon as you go to squash them. You ignore them because you don’t need cockroaches!
6. You survive your first Tinder date
This is a huge accomplishment in your life! You successfully navigated the tense social situation of two strangers trying to decide if they want to initiate further contact after this cup of coffee worth of conversation. After the date, you are socially dead and head home to recharge. You need a nice big nap and some alone time before you can even begin to imagine putting yourself through this hell again.
7. You go back on Tinder and this time are less picky
As time goes on you are less picky of who you swipe right on. When guys are pricks you just don’t reply anymore. They don’t deserve your time. When guys bail on plans last minute you shrug it off, their loss. You made plans to spend some of your nonexistent free time with a guy who then ends up blowing you off last minute, now that’s just rude. There are other guys who try much harder than you can talk to. You also probably turn on female and male profiles because let’s be real girls have much better profiles than guys. You’re not ashamed of your profile anymore, and you’ve probably also swiped right on friends just to send them weird messages because you can.
8. You find some really cool people and have some really interesting conversations
There is a handful of guys who you actually like talking to. They are the ones that you actually have some things in common with. They are the ones who text you first and actually reply at a reasonable hour. They are the ones who put in the effort to talk to you because sometimes you just forget to reply and need a second text to remind you that it’s time to get out of your study hole for a few minutes.
9. You can’t decide if you actually like Tinder or not
Tinder has gotten you out of your comfort zone socially so maybe it’s been good? It gets you out there doing things other than your major. Sure it’s not the end all be all of dating, but cute dates with cute guys isn’t a bad thing. You still hold the hope that you’ll magically have a meet cute, but honestly dating isn’t the same as it was twenty years ago. You have a weird love/hate relationship with the app. It’s a process.
Dating is hard. Being an awkward introvert and trying to date is even harder. Maybe Tinder if your thing, but maybe you also high key hate it with the passion of a thousand burning suns. Either way, Tinder has its high and low points just like everything else. So you do you girl, just remember that boys are like buses. Always late, never getting you where you need to go, and constantly coming back around.