Okay, let me set the scene. It’s been two weeks since you broke up with your boyfriend. You two only broke up due to outward variables. The break up had nothing to do with not being attracted to one another. The relationship ended on a good note, and you guys agreed to be friends. After all, you both have the same friend group, have the same interests, and know each other well. You want to be in each other’s lives, but you both just don’t have time for a relationship. However, only one thing really remains from your relationship. There is still an itch to scratch.
Friends with benefits is sometimes the best solution when in college. As much as “friends with benefits” sounds like a negative and crazy idea, it is pretty practical for some people. It happens with someone you trust. An ex or a friend will do. Or even just someone you know! You both are physical adults and if both of you can handle meaningless sex, I’d say go for it! Here are some more reasons why being friends with benefits is better than having a real relationship in college.
There are no strings attached.
Friends with benefits works really well for people who aren’t able to put time into a relationship. There is nothing tying you down and there is still an opportunity to find someone you want to date when you are ready. You won’t be causing any harm, and it will be a clean break.
Sex is hotter.
When sex is not as expected (like in a serious relationship), there is wiggle room and opportunity to get spontaneous in the sack. When you are friends with benefits, there is an excuse to practice your moves and get creative. Try new positions and have fun! Don’t be afraid of being judged. All types of pleasure should be accepted with consent.
You get your freedom.
When in a relationship, there is a lot of stress on sharing your time and self with your partner. When experiencing friends with benefits, you get to live your life and call all of the shots. Your choices only affects you. You are the most important person in your life. Take advantage!
You get to have a dirty little secret!
Even though it is completely okay to have a friend with benefits and control your own sexual life, sometimes there are people who are embarrassed and want to keep their type of relationship a secret. That is okay. Sometimes it makes the sex hotter! Sneaking around with your friend and gearing up to have the hottest sex you can have when you both are finally free in a secret location can make eyes roll.
Grades won’t plummet.
When letting go of the pressures of a romantic relationship and embracing single life, there is more time for you and your school work. Take advantage of your new school schedule while still releasing that sexual tension.
You won’t have to go through the emotional turmoil that comes with dating.
Dating is rough and can be filled with emotion as you navigate the dating pool. Friends with benefits gives you the fun in hanging out with someone and having sexy time, but also offers a break and not as much time trying to please. It’s all up to you girl! You are in the driver’s seat.
You know what you are getting into.
Engaging in friends with benefits with someone who you know well is the best. There is already a trust established and you know their background. You won’t have to go through the process of figuring out who the person is, having to get tested for STI’s and STD’s, and learning about their past sexcapades.
Friends with Benefits may grow into something more when the time is right.
Just because you and your friend are both not able or are not ready to be in a romantic relationship, being friends with benefits can be used as a holding cell for your intimacy until the time is right. Just make sure you both are on the same page at the same time.
A friendship is saved.
Friends with benefits can be a stepping stone down from a romantic relationship to just friends. If you guys are still looking to be close but not be in a relationship, save that connection and jump into bed if you are both feeling it. It’s all about whatever you want to give one another and what you can give one another as well.
Being friends with benefits isn’t for everyone, but if things fall into place and casual sex is on the table then go for it! There is no shame in asking for what you want as a physical, adult woman.
Shine Bright <3