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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Utica chapter.

The student series was cultivated to bring awareness to a student’s everyday thoughts. The ones that haunt them, and the ones that excite them. This is about sharing thoughts and experiences, so come take a look inside their lens.

This is a female student who didn’t want to be identified. No name, no pictures. Just her thoughts. Read openly below:

I’m just kinda nervous and scared I thought I had it all figured it out. My future that is, but now I’m second guessing it . Do I really have what it takes to be on tv, or model for top brands and be on covers of magazines like vogue? I’m drowning in doubt and I’m thinking to myself “what if it doesn’t happen?” or ” what if I give up?”.  Sometimes I wonder if I should just give up this unrealistic dream I have and settle for a different career, like a lawyer since everyone is forcing that on me. I just want to do something I love to do everyday, be famous and make millions. Is that a lot?

Then I struggle with internal things which makes it worse. It’s hard to love yourself everyday . It takes a lot of days, weeks, months, and maybe even years. I’m still learning how to love myself and be confident. In high school it might’ve been the worst time for me. There were a lot of pretty girls who dressed nice and had nice bodies and the boys were so good looking. I felt you had to alter yourself to be more likeable, and that may have consisted of showing more skin , straightening your hair more often, and getting new clothes every other week. What I’m still figuring out is that you don’t have to do that for somebody who really likes you. That special one will see right through you and see your true potential. I’m not sure if I believe it, but that’s what they say, the experienced ones.

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Claudia M

Utica '20

Meet Bianca, I am currently a Junior at Utica College in Utica, NY.  I am a Criminal Justice major with a concentration in Homeland Security.  Crime investigation has always been something that interests me.  I’m dedicated and passionate and it’s hard for me to quit things. I get that from my father so don’t hold it against me- he was a veteran and police officer for 20 years.   Growing up in a family centered around law enforcement has helped guide me in this direction, and I will forever be grateful.  After graduation I intend to continue on to law school where I can further my education in hopes of becoming a criminal defense lawyer and later on a District Attorney.  An interesting fact about myself is that I found the passion to be a criminal defense lawyer from watching the O.J. Simpson case.  The facts and conspiracy theories evoked a whole new passion behind criminal investigation that I intend to use in my future.  One of my most prominent moments in my writing career was when I wrote for an online magazine and had my most prevalent article hit 1.6k shares.  I believe in treating people with the same kind of respect and manners you would expect in return, and in a way it has helped shaped my expectations in life.   When you first meet me I won’t be the loudest in the room or the center of attention, but I will be intently listening to everything you say, for what you have to say may have a purpose. I believe in purpose. I believe that everyone is here to help you grow into who you are today and who you will be tomorrow.