*This article contains discussions about sexual assault and harassment*
If I asked a male and a female the following question, chances are there would be two completely different answers: “What do you do to prevent yourself from being sexually harassed or assaulted?” A male would typically not know what to say because normally, they don’t have to go out of their regular routine to deal with this issue. As for females, one would typically respond that they carry mace or pepper spray around, refrain from jogging at night, check the back of their car to see if anyone is in there already, not listen to music at night if they are walking or jogging, park in a well-lit area, use their keys or other objects as defense weapons, go out with a group of friends, do not leave their drink unattended, and the list can go on and on. I find myself wondering why this is the case for women. To me, the answer is our generation and the way society is dealing with these issues.
Many women are afraid to speak up about their sexual assaults or harassments that they have faced. In fact, more than 90% of sexual assault victims on college campuses do not report the assault. It’s most common for young females attending a college or university to experience sexual assault or harassment. In fact, nearly two thirds of college students experience sexual harassment (Fisher, 2018). Many often say that women are “asking for it” with the way they dress or the way they act. No matter if you are wearing a provocative outfit or shorts and a t-shirt, this does not excuse sexual harassment or assaults. Women don’t give consent for this type of behavior and yet we are still being harassed or assaulted. Although there is not yet a global or nationwide way to prevent this from ultimately happening, there are ways women can protect themselves.
I have personally dealt with a few instances of sexual harassment and assault. It was a Friday night. I had been offered a drink or two and drastically lost my bearings too quick and knew that something was wrong. I was taken advantage of that night without my consent and was distraught when I realized what had happened to me. It was not easy for me to report this instance although personally, I felt much better afterwards. I was afraid that the campus police would not take my matter seriously as sometimes (though not often) there are cases where there are false accusations against others. Although the instance was traumatizing for me, I was glad that I ultimately reported the situation. I was given several numbers and organizations for how to cope with my situation as well as the strong support of my family and friends. I had another incident while I was at work. I was wearing my typical uniform which consist of leggings and a t-shirt. I was going about my normal work schedule when a middle aged man approached me and was sexually harassing me. I wanted to crawl out of my body, hoping that I could escape what was happening to me. I was uncomfortable, frightened, disgusted, and upset that not only did I have to deal with another case of sexual harassment, but that this is something that is consistently happening to women. I immediately reported this man to my bosses and they immediately took care of it. I was distraught when a fellow co-worker had told me that similar instances happen frequently. I had the support of my bosses as well as my friends and co-workers although I was in awe that this had happened again.
Some women are afraid to report their cases due to fear, guilt, as well as other mixed emotions. I can promise you one thing, it is not you. You are not to blame nor did you ask for any of this to happen to you. It is normal to go through tidal waves of emotions and question a lot of things. I reported my instances to prevent these males from targeting other women. I reported to make a stand and prevent other women from going through similar instances that I did. Do not be afraid to stand up for yourself, do not question your worth, and above all do not question if you deserve this because you do not. You did not ask for this nor did you intend for any of this to happen. Although this will still be an ongoing issue for women, there are still ways to make a stand and protect yourself. Stay guarded and strong while protecting yourself, it is better to be safe and secure. Stay true to you, make a stand, and break the silence.