While I was scrolling through Twitter a few weeks ago, I stumbled upon a few tweets made by one of my favorite artists Marina Diamandis (aka Marina and the Diamonds). The tweets are as follows:
I can’t believe I’m saying this but… It’s okay to like yourself.
It’s a brave act in a society that profits off of low self-esteem by sending people the message that they are never enough as they are. That to be a confident and secure woman is a threat.— Marina (@MarinaDiamandis) October 1, 2018
When I was younger I used to have a few friends who I would instinctively make myself smaller around to accommodate their own self esteem issues. That’s not true friendship.
Ladies (& gents) – don’t make yourself small so others can be comfortable. Fuck that.
— Marina (@MarinaDiamandis) October 1, 2018
At the time I read these, I was having a bad week. I was overwhelmed by the endless amount of homework I was receiving, I hardly had any free time to do things I enjoyed, and I felt trapped in an endless cycle of school that I thought would ever end. So these tweets kinda came at the perfect time. I’ve always loved Marina for her music and for the message that she creates for women around the world. If you’ve listened to her album “Electra Heart,” you’d know that she has toyed around with the idea of identity and all the different ways she can portray herself to the world. Confidence is one of the many themes she has explored, so I always love hearing anything she has to say about it.
The message in this tweet has so much truth to it. More often than not, women are shamed by society and called derogatory names just for feeling confident and secure about themselves. This has resulted in the belief that confidence = bitchiness, something I think that many of us have dealt with but know is not true. Because the reality is: a confident woman is something that society does not know how to handle. Women have always been expected to follow the rules and stay quiet, so when they don’t, their presence is suddenly threatening to the patriarchal ideas that society is fueled by. We are all aware of the double standard that comes with confidence. Any ounce of confidence portrayed by a man is automatically praised by the public, yet when a woman appears to be confident, the consequences are more negative and sometimes detrimental.
Take Taylor Swift for example. Upon the release of her most recent album “Reputation,” critics seemed to have a lot to say about her “attitude change.” “Reputation” is unlike anything else she has ever released and acts as a sort of response to all the bad things the media has said about her and the reputation that she has because of it. Over the course of her career, she’s been called a countless number of nasty names by the public just for living her life. So when she decides enough is enough, that she’s sick and tired of the way she is being portrayed by the world and releases Reputation, she’s instantly ridiculed for it. The critics focused on all the negative parts: on how she only cares about revenge or how angry she sounds. But the album is so much more than that. It explores many things, but most importantly, it’s a way for her to unapologetically say “this is who I am and I’m not sorry about it.”
My point (and Marina’s) is that it’s really okay to like yourself. It’s okay to celebrate your achievements, it’s okay to be confident about yourself, and it’s okay to not be ashamed of who you are. I know how challenging this can be, especially because we live in a culture that thrives off of low self-esteem and constant criticism. But we should not feel bad or guilty about who we are because really, there is no one else we could be.