College can be rough. Relationships can be rough. College relationships can be even rougher. A friend of mine recently suffered through the difficult demise of a college fling, and I was a first hand witness to the number of tissues that she went through. From the uncomfortable ties that friends may have with the ex-fling to seeing him pass by in Regatta’s, burying the memories of a fling can be difficult to handle. Luckily, my friend was able to pick herself up and turn it all around in a couple of days, and there were three specific things that helped her through the mourning process for her fling.
1. Let it all out
Even though it may be uncomfortable, find a place where you can just let it all out. For my friend, it was the plush rug on my floor. Making sure that you are surrounded by people that love you and care about you is probably the most important part of this step. Crying alone can be therapeutic, sure, but when you already feel lonely because the fling ended, being surrounded by people who love and care about you can’t hurt. Everyone will understand that you need an emotional release, and if they are worthy friends, they will stick around and make sure that everything is going okay for you.
2. Go home
Going home might not be an option for you if you don’t have a car, but calling home and surrounding yourself with your closest friends will help in the same ways. My friend and I brought one of our other friends home with us for the weekend, though, and just being able to be off campus and breathe air that wasn’t contaminated by the sad memories of the fling lifted everyone’s spirits. Our friend is an out-of-state student, so we gave her a grand tour of our hometowns and had the opportunity to escape and reset for a weekend by seeing our pets and hugging our moms.
3. Get involved
By getting out of your room and remaining involved in the activities that you love, you will be able to take your mind off of the memories that you made with the ex-fling. Being able to be a part of something that’s bigger than yourself helps to remind you that this is not the end of the world. Breathe deep and think of all the things that make you a passionate and compelling person – just because something seemingly good came to an end doesn’t mean that something better won’t come up in its place. Stay happy and stay motivated!
Finally, remember that it’s okay to fail. Sometimes you’re going to see them on campus, and sometimes it’s going to hurt. Sometimes you are going to look like this raccoon.
But look at how hard he’s trying! Keep trying and keep surrounding yourself with the things and people that make you grateful for everything that you have in your life. There are going to be times when it doesn’t feel like anything will ever be okay again, but just remind yourself of how far you’ve come in this life and how meaningful everything in your life has been up to this moment. Just because you feel bad now doesn’t mean that things won’t change and get better in a couple of days. Keep your head up and keep trying!