“Self-care looks like deciding to love myself enough not to settle for less than what I deserve.” -Alex Elle
Ladies, it is officially, it’s No Settling November. We need to love ourselves all November, December, into 2019 and on! However, as with many things, it is easier said than done. As holiday season approaches, many people may feel the need for companionship a little more. The commercials emphasizing love and togetherness start to roll in and it can make us want to feel wanted. So wanted that we settle. During this time we forget our worth longing for someone to be there intimately. Yes, this feeling is natural and everyone deserves to be loved, however, it needs to be within the right time and most importantly, the right person. Social media has also played a major part in this. When all you see is relationship goals plastered on every social platform it can make us feel like we are the only single person in the world! Of course we know that is not the case, but our hearts don’t seem to be aware. Now, if you are still sitting here wondering how to stop feeling this way here are some things to think about:
Realize and understand that you are a BOSS and we don’t want scrubs! No matter what stage of life you are in, no matter your field of work or study, everyone is a boss in their own way. It takes a boss to be in college. It takes a boss to be able to juggle school, a social life and multiple extracurricular activities. It takes a boss to have major life aspirations and act to achieve them. Believe in yourself. Confidence is key! Knowing your worth (don’t forget to add tax sis) will only bring you everything that you deserve. It also provides you with the knowledge to be able to realize when someone is not treating you as they should. You do not have the time to be treated like a pebble when you are a diamond.
Everyone has flaws. Identify yours and embrace what you have or make a change! No one is perfect, but you will be perfect to the right person. Also it is important not to compare yourself to others. Social media is the devil when it comes to this. We all see the models getting praised for their perfect skin, hair, eyes, make up, body type… The list goes on. For some people this can cause an internal conflict making them think that that is what they need to look like in order to find their match. When in reality, your match is a person who loves you for you no matter what. Flaws and all.
Lastly, love yourself first. I know this is said all the time, but that is because it is the truth. If you do not love yourself, you will not be able to truly let someone in and love you for who you are. Not loving yourself can result in trying to be someone you are not. This sounds harsh, but at that point you are being a fraud. Attracting someone who is the complete opposite of your wants and needs can be a result of your fraudulent identity. Who wants that? Loving yourself and staying true to yourself will grant you the best outcomes. Know that if you love yourself and are being true to yourself that you will not need confirmation from anyone else. Be comfortable with being alone first so that when someone else comes along it’s a bonus.