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Mom, believe it or not your daughter will listen to you best when she understands YOUR heart,. Sharing our experiences in our younger years may be hardest to do, but it will be the most impacting for your daughter.
The Facts:
- 2% of teens have sex by age 12.
- 16% of teens have sex by age 15.
- 33% of teens have sex by age 16.
- 48% of teens have sex by age 17.
- 61% of teens have sex by age 18.
- 71% of teens have sex by age 19.
Think Back:
- What type of messages about attracting guys, getting guys, and having sex did you receive?
- How did these messages affect you?
- Did you feel you weren’t complete without a boyfriend?
- What do you wish you would have known about guys and sex when you were younger?
How to Have “the Talk”:
- Take time to go over these statics with your daughter. Ask her what she sees at school and in the media.
- Ask your daughter about her own search for intimacy. Ask, “Where are the hotels in your heart?”
- Talk about bonding wth other person: “True intimacy is made possible by the use of relationship skills and not as a result of sex drives.” Ask, ” what are other ways to connect other than sex.”
- Ask your daughter about the pressures she feels. Talk about an “escape plan” when she feels these pressures.
- Finally, take time to share about your own experiences:
- What type of messages about attracting guys, getting guys, and having sex did you receive.
- How did these messages affect you?
- Did you feel you weren’t complete without a boyfriend?
- What do you wish you would have known about guys and sex when you were younger?
Don’t make this a one – time conversation. Let your daughter know that she can come to you any time. Because a safe place for your daughter to talk about what she hears, what she sees, and how she feels.
Let her know that it’s uncomfortable for you, too, but you can work through all her questions together. And know that sharing your heart will have a positive impact that your daughter will carry with her through all life’s challenges.