If there is one thing I have felt in college more than anything else, it is the influence and pressure of other people. Living in a dorm specifically, I compare myself to other girls and my friends all the time. We all have different experiences, body types, relationships, etc, and we have all been through different things. Some of us are in serious relationships, and some of us have never really been in relationships at all. It makes you realize that there is not one correct way to live life.
Recently I have found myself listening to the boy drama of one of my closest friends. She’ll meet people at parties or other places, then come back and tell me all about them. I love my friend, and I enjoy listening to her and giving her advice, but it is hard to not compare my relationships, experiences, and choices to hers. I often question if I should be going out and partying, allowing myself to hook up with guys who most of the time just want one thing. I wonder if I should not be so reserved. It’s college right? Now is the time where I should be hooking up with people recklessly?
It’s okay to want to hook up, but it’s also okay to not want to. As it turns out, you can do whatever you want. There are no rules to this, and there is no right way to have a college experience. It’s up to you. I recently had a guy text me, and he made it clear he only wanted one thing from me. I considered it a lot. I thought, “I’m in college! Now is the time to do this sort of stuff.” But deep down, I knew it was not what I wanted, and nothing was going to convince me otherwise. I figure an opportunity like this will probably present itself again while I am in college, so I just have to keep in mind who I am and what I want.
For some people, sex is something that they are okay with being casual, but for other people they would rather it always be with someone they know cares about them and knows them. Neither way is wrong, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Only you know your worth, and only you get to decide how much of yourself you want to give to people.
Often, women are unfairly viewed as not being able to hook up without catching feelings, and they are incapable of casual sex without getting attached. This isn’t true, but there is nothing wrong with a woman who doesn’t want to have sex without there being some emotion there.
Overall, just because your friends or other college girls are hooking up, don’t feel like you have to. Everybody has had different experiences that shape their values and who they are. It’s okay to not want something that movies, shows, and social media always portray as something that you should be doing in college. The only opinion that matters regarding what you do with your body is yours.