As far as my perfect Valentine’s day goes, I’ll be spending it with the boyfriend and dog, and eating so, so much chocolate.
On the first day of Valentine’s Day, my true love gave to me, a really, really bad gift. And on the second day, I probably dumped him. Okay, totally kidding. But there are certain things that you shouldn’t get bae for Valentine’s Day. And here are 12 of them for the 12 days of Chris… er…. Valentine’s Day.
1. A Weight Watchers Membership
Nothing like saying, “You’re perfect the way you are,” then implying that they need to lose weight.
2. An IOU
No thanks, I would like an actual gift. Dear boyfriend, you’ve known this date was coming up.
3. An unforeseen pregnancy announcement.
Uh…surprise?
4. Dental hygiene products.
Like… do I have bad breath?
5. A jewelry box… with nothing that you were expecting.
If you like me you should have put a… necklace… in it. But if he were to propose with a Ring Pop or a ring with Mac ‘n Cheese on it, I wouldn’t complain.
6. An empty box of chocolates
He probably ate them already. I would too.
7. A text message, and no other gift.
Dude..that’s like, zero effort.
8. Anti aging products.
At least he wants to cherish your youth.
9. Hair removal products.
I’m talking about wax strips, Nair, or anything else. Ladies, he’s basically telling you he wants a longer mustache than you. If he can’t take you at your worst, why should he deserve your best?
10. A break-up
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Ouch.
11. A file for divorce
Double ouch.
12. Nothing at all.
Triple Ouch.
Hopefully none of you *actually* get these gifts for Valentine’s Day. And if you do-you can certainly enjoy a whole box of chocolates to yourself in bed. At least it’s better when you don’t have to share.
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