With add/drop week behind us at Geneseo, I thought I should share some information about a class I took in the fall semester. I had begun to take classes for my second major in communications. One of the required major classes was called Interpersonal Communication. I had no idea what to expect, but what I have come to learn is that this is a class everyone should have to take.
My class focused on many different theories such as “The Big Five Personality Traits”, communication competence and conflict styles. Since we were learning about these topics, it was suggested we take quizzes to determine where we fell in each of these categories. Although all of these are very interesting, what I found most interesting were my “Big Five” traits and conflict styles.
According to what I learned in class, the five personality traits of the theory are openness (willingness to consider to ideas and think abstractly), conscientiousness (self-organization and motivation), extraversion (interacting with others), agreeableness (trustworthiness and friendliness) and neuroticism (level of negative thoughts).
I took an online quiz to discover the percentages of my Big Five Traits and learned I had a higher percentage for almost all of them. The higher the percentages, the more you fit the definition of the trait. For example, a person with a higher level of agreeableness would be friendlier and more helpful to others; however, this doesn’t mean that a person with a lower percentage can’t also be agreeable.
I was shocked to see some of the results be so high; however, some of my roommates also took the quiz and we all agreed that it was mostly accurate. Considering these traits are meant to influence behavior, I was glad to see that it mostly seemed like I was a very nice hard-working person.
One thing that you need to be aware of is that these quizzes are very subjective, meaning that you are answering the questions about yourself. As most people know, you view yourself differently than others see you. So, while there is a bit of hitch for this quiz, if you’re being honest with yourself, you can learn a lot!
We also learned about conflict styles, or how people react and handle conflict. According to what I learned, the four main styles of conflict are collaborative (win/win for both people), competitive (desire to try and get your way), avoidant (avoid direct communication with other people) and accommodative (desire to smooth things over so the other person gets their way). The two pseudostyles are compromising (temporary win/win that has some sort of negative feeling left with at least one person involved) and reactive (a combination of avoidant, then competitive, then back to avoidant).
After taking a quiz in our textbook (but you can find others online by Googling “conflict style quiz”), I realized I was mainly avoidant and accommodative. Since I had to write an essay about my conflict styles, I learned that my high agreeableness affects my how I react to conflict because I don’t want to hurt anyone. In some scenarios, there is nothing wrong with being accommodative and avoidant; however, I realized that I should start taking myself into consideration more often.
To summarize, I am basically an overly nice person who has a tendency to let people walk all over me. Learning these things has helped me realize that sometimes I can’t always be the person who gives. I might be open to new ideas, too organized, somewhat insecure and kind of extroverted, but these things are miniscule in the scheme of life.
Frankly, we all need to work on making ourselves the best person in our own eyes. When you are happy with who you are, you will feel more secure with yourself. Don’t let others change who you are. Don’t let others take advantage of you. Find what works the best with every person and situation for you and go for it.
Please take five minutes of your time and take these quizzes. Better yet, take an Interpersonal Communication class if you can. You can really learn something about yourself and how the world works.
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