If you know someone in the Military, you know truly just how tough it is when they aren’t around. It could be a best friend, boyfriend, or just someone close to your heart, Life just doesn’t feel the same anymore without them… The most frustrating part of it all is dealing with people who aren’t in the same situation. They truly don’t understand what it’s like. The worst part of it all is hearing someone say “I miss my boyfriend so much, I haven’t seen him in two weeks, he goes to college a state over from me”, because no one truly grasp how difficult it is to not see someone for up to a year. Months or even years can go by without seeing someone so important to you, so how are we expected to deal with it? Over the past 7 months, I haven’t been able to see my best friend because he is currently deployed in Bahrain in the middle east for the United States Navy. I have learned many different coping mechanisms and I hope they can help you as they have helped me.
While they are off doing their job, you have to do yours.
At this point in our lives, there is nothing more important than our school work and our futures. You have to be able to let the distance between the two of you allow you both to grow and better yourselves. You know whoever this person may be is working hard towards their career everyday with training and getting up at insanely early hours, so while they are busy working towards their futures you should be too.
Make a playlist
Music is an insanely powerful tool that our society takes full advantage of so you should too. Music is great because it allows us the understand and connect with people that have been through the same thing. Here are a few songs I have added to a playlist I listen to whenever I am missing this special person:
Keep Holding on- Avril Lavigne
Far Away- Nickleback
Home- Daughtry
Oceans Away- A R I Z O N A
Shed a Light- Robert Schulz
There For You- Martin Garrix
It’s ok to be upset, but not for too long
Cry. Let it out, there is no better feeling. But, you can’t be sad forever. There comes a point where you have to get up and get back to reality. Just remember they WILL be back. Be patient and great things will come and realize that distance will only make the two of you closer.
Communication (if possible)
Depending on the different military branch this person is in or at what level of training they are at, will determine the amount of communication the two of you have. If they are off to boot camp, your only option will be letters and this will be hard for a while but you will find so much pleasure in receiving their letters. Hopefully once they are stationed and deployed in a particular place, they will be able to have their phone full time. This is the situation in my case, and it makes it so much easier to handle the time apart when you are able to text, call, Facetime, Snapchat etc; get creative in different forms of communication and it will help the time go by quicker.
Distractions
The best advice I can give you, is to live your life. Create a great support system of all types of friends because you’ll need them on your bad days. Start up new hobbies. Set goals. Get creative. Do things you have never done before. Anything to pass the time helps tremendously. In my case, I invested in the gym even more than I did before and it truly helps to get your mind off this person and better yourself.
Photos
This one is totally corny, I know but to reminisce on old photos will definitely put a smile on your face. I put together a small album on my photo of pictures of our Facetime calls, prom, and just photos throughout the years together and it gives you a sense of home.
Positivity
As college students we already have so much on our plate, that an emotional stressor like this is not something you want to carry around with you while studying for that biology exam. Try to think positively and always remember this isn’t permanent. See the good in everyday and every situation. Being a part from someone you love is not only teaching the two of you patience, but it is slowly but surely making you both closer. When the wait is finally over and they come back home, there will be no better feeling and it will have all been worth it.