Joining a sorority was something I never considered when I started my freshman year at UMKC. I didn’t know anyone in Kansas City, aside from the three people from my high school who also came to UMKC. I chose a school where I didn’t know anyone because I was desperately needing a fresh start. I was fairly confident that I would meet plenty of new people here. I was already pretty close with my roommate and I had met a few friends from orientation. I also joined a couple of clubs but they all fell through because there wasn’t much socialization and I wasn’t excited to go to meetings. UMKC is also a commuter school, so I quickly found it hard to find people to do things with on the weekends. That’s when my friend and I decided to join a sorority and go through informal recruitment together.
The recruitment process was pretty simple. We were able to meet with two sororities. We met with each of the Vice Presidents of Recruitment and they discussed the cost, requirements, activities and philanthropy. If we both felt it was a good fit, they would let us know if we were able to receive a bid. My friend and I ended up deciding to join different sororities but we both received a bid for our first choice.
At first I loved it, my sorority did a really good job at showering the new members with love and attention. It seemed like everyone got along and were always doing fun things together. Once we became official members, that started to change. To be more involved, I held a position and moved into the sorority house but I still didn’t feel like I had found my “home.” I never felt I was in the close-knit group I was looking for. The second semester, became more time consuming and I found myself having to pick between sorority events and studying for exams. My grades have always been very important to me and I found myself being expected to prioritize the chapter when my workload was heavy. At the same time, I ended up meeting some of my best friends and bonded with them in a way I wouldn’t have had I not joined a sorority. Here are some things you should know before you join a sorority:
- Do your research, talk to people around campus and get a feel of the sorority’s values, but keep in mind that not every girl in the sorority lives up to those standards. It’s also important to ask questions in order to make an informed decision.
- Go through formal recruitment! You’ll have more options than you would later in the semester because your first choice may not be accepting new members. It’ll also help you bond with your pledge class through all of the activities. Informal (spring) recruitment is still a good experience, but you miss out on many of the bonding moments.
- Wait a year before holding a position. In my experience, the freshmen are not treated with the same authority as older members. You will also be more used to college life and your course workload when you decide to take on a leadership position.
- You only get out of it what you put in. You cannot expect to make bonds with the girls if you’re not regularly attending events like sisterhoods and fundraising.
- That being said, it is a MAJOR time commitment. While many girls are able to make it work, I struggled to manage my workload and I wasn’t able to find a job because I was often unavailable due to mandatory events.
- Be your authentic self. It is important for people to see the real you so that you can bond with people that are right for you. Sororities are so much more than going to frat parties or being cooler than you were in high school, so just be yourself!
- SPEAK UP. Having 60 plus girls in one sorority can be overwhelming and you are not guaranteed to get along with everyone and that’s okay. I learned that bottling up my frustrations or concerns only made me more frustrated. Establishing healthy communication within your chapter is huge.
- Be prepared for extra expenses. Aside from the expected monthly dues, you’ll probably be spending money on social outings, t-shirts, fundraising and other things that I was not prepared for. If you’re a commuter, you might be expected to live in the house which would also be an additional expense.
- It’s okay to drop. Sometimes it’s not the right fit. I never would have known that my sorority wasn’t the right fit for me until I actually joined. Your true friends won’t care if you’re still in the chapter or not. If you change your mind in the future, you can always rejoin the sorority when it is a better time for you.
While I did not end up having the sorority experience I had hoped for, I do not want to deter anyone who is interested in joining Greek Life from trying it out themselves. Hopefully highlighting some of the things I learned on the inside will help you to make an informed decision. Having this information beforehand would have helped me have more realistic expectations of not only my chapter but sororities in general. Good luck, ladies!