Her Story: How I Learned to Love Myself

Being in love with one person for over six years was everything. I knew since I was fourteen that this was the man I was going to marry. But I was wrong, and a lot can change in six years, whether that be your own self, circumstances, and anything else in between. It was extremely heartbreaking to finally decide to let go, but I am now free from a toxic relationship and I have found true happiness and love within myself. 

Being with someone for six years is a lot, that is all I ever knew. I devoted, committed, and gave my whole being to someone who never truly appreciated me. But I stayed anyway because he was my comfort blanket and the thought of losing all the time I invested in him scared the living hell out of me. I became so dependent on him, and he was always the only person I ran to, the only person I confided in, and the only person I grew to trust. It wasn’t until he started treating me badly and neglecting me when I realized he was never really there, nor did he ever really care for me. It took me a while to accept that because how could one give six years of full love to someone and not have true and genuine feelings? The crazy thing was, he would never leave me because he loved the love I gave him. He loved the attention and care I would give him. Because I did love this man with my whole being and more and more everyday. The thought of my future with him made life all worth while…even though I knew deep down he’d never give me the life deserve. Over and over all my family and friends would tell me that he was never enough for me and he never will be. But I never let that phase me because only I knew the man he was, but it was only a man I created in my mind. Coming to reality with this situation was a huge, dramatic, and difficult process for me because it did feel like I lost a part of me. But I got through it.

So finally I am single and ready to love myself fully and independently. I feel an immense amount gratitude, happiness, and worth within myself. Instead of dwelling on the six years I gave to someone for ultimately nothing, I made sure to grow through what I go through. That was the only way I was able to stand on my feet again and be okay with being alone. I know what I deserve and I will never settle for anything less ever again. I am extremely grateful to have been able to love someone so deeply and I can only hope one day I will get to be loved even greater. But until then, I will flourish on my own, focus on MY future, and give myself everything I always thought only he could give me. I love me and I really don’t need anybody else.