As soon as the weather starts to cool down, girls starts trading in their denim shorts for denim jackets and start searching for their hibernation partners. Ah yes, good old cuffing season. The period of time between October and March, where people seek out a stable partner to cuddle up with under some blankets and binge-watch a true crime series.
Dr. Dara Bushman, a licensed clinical psychologist, says that “the cold weather and lack of outdoors and sunshine causes singles to become lonely and desperate” (Andrews & Pugachevsky, 2019). Which honestly, makes me feel a little attacked. But I think it’s also a good reminder that sometimes you are settling for a partner when the weather starts to get cold, and that there are other ways to have your love needs fulfilled without committing to a scrub for six months. Ancient Greek philosophers theorized that there were eight different kinds of love:
Agape
An unconditional and selfless love that people can have for fellow humans, it is an unconditional concern for welfare. Greta Thunberg, the activist queen, exhibits it perfectly.
Eros
Passionate and physical love experienced between partners; it’s usually the kind of love that people are hunting for in cuffing season.
Philia
Platonic love, the genuine affection that you have for people without participating in or desiring sexual acts with that person.
Philautia
The love that you can hold for yourself and that you exhibit when you engage in acts of self-care.
Storge
The kind of love that you feel for your family members. It is established through kinship and shared bonds.
Ludus
The playful love you feel at the beginning of a relationship, it’s the butterflies in action. It’s what happens when being with a person is almost addictive, you want to be with them all the time.
Pragma
The kind of love that is long and enduring, it has developed and matured over many years. It’s basically #goals.
Mania
An obsessive love that leads to anger, jealousy and can cause you to unleash your inner psycho.
So, when cuffing season comes rolling in like the Autumn wind, consider putting your effort into other kinds of love instead of Eros. It’s possible that you’ll meet a person that’s wonderful and you’re going to want them to stick around past Groundhog Day, but make sure you really think they’re worth your time and you’re not just using them for their body heat. The Greeks actually believed that Philia, friendship love, was the most desirable form of love because it’s shared between equals. So why not put your effort into building strong, lifelong friendships and plan a wine and cheese night with your girls? Or, HerCampus has some incredible articles on self-care that can help you develop Philautia.