You’re here, that destination everyone has been talking about ever since you could walk. A high school graduate. Now onto your next destination—college.
Or should I say challenge?
Whether you stay home or move out for college, don’t be surprised if you start to feel alone. I won’t sugarcoat it. Everything is new, even your expectations don’t know what they’re going to meet—or who. You have to figure out things for yourself, and independency has a whole new meaning.
If you’re like me, you’ll have to go through the stressful process of filing out your FAFSA every year, hoping you aren’t committing fraud, as the constant bickering between you and your parents about passwords continues.
Because unlike the others, we don’t have the advantage of having our parents file it for us, we have to take matters into our own hands.
When your parents ask about school, you just say everything is okay. You don’t want to worry them, you know they won’t really understand if you try to explain what’s really going on.
You get used to trying to paint this pretty picture for them, to being strong even when you have to pretend. They’ve already experienced enough hardships at your expense so putting more on their plate doesn’t seem right.
You have all these expectations to carry and all this responsibility—why? Because you are the first one to go to college. You are to “set an example” to your younger siblings or cousins.
You have all these expectations you are carrying, and on top of it you might have to work.
The college mindset: trying to make it for yourself, your family, anyone who ever contributed to your journey.
You will endure hardships, late sleepless nights, and you might get overwhelmed. In the end you will finish and it will be all worth it, for you and for them.
Being a first generation child to actually achieve the college dream, comes with a certain pressure. Your parents have made sacrifices, sacrifices most people wouldn’t imagine making. Knowing this, the price of disappointment is way to costly for kids like us. Our parents want us to take advantage of everything they didn’t have, of opportunities they weren’t given and make something out of ourselves, so we don’t have to endure the life they once had.
It’s as if our parents are getting their second chance to live their own dreams through us. So even when you feel like giving up, like you can’t make it to the finish line, just remember you aren’t just letting go of your future, you’re letting go of the light that burned so brightly in your parents before you.
Being a first generation may make you feel alone or not understood. But imagine the generations before you that could only wish to be in your position, you’re doing it for them. Even though you can’t see them, their spirit of aspiration and hope will always burn brightly in your darkest of moments.
Being a first generation, also comes with a sense of gratefulness and pride through all the hardships. You will find yourself thinking, I am really here, I am really doing this alone despite all the challenges.