This decade is almost over and nostalgia culture is at an all-time high, so I figured I should capitalize on it while I can. Get ready to take a trip back in time and unlock these childhood memories that you repressed deep in the recesses of your mind long ago. Enjoy the journey.
Coconut Mall from Mario Kart Wii
This track slapped. If you and your friends didn’t immediately run home from school on Friday to turn on your Wii and pop in Mario Kart to play this bad boy, what were you doing? Only real ones knew the secret shortcut through the mall floor. And that part just before you reached the finish line where you drove through the parking lot and you could see you and your friends’ Miis driving around? Truly iconic. Even though it would slow you down, sometimes I would hit my sister’s Mii on purpose. Oops. Anyways, can someone get on building this mall in real life?
The show “Life With Derek”
Seriously, does ANYONE remember this show?! The plot isn’t that important; it’s basically the Disney version of The Brady Bunch. What’s more important is that for the longest time, I was convinced I imagined this show in a fever dream. Literally. Picture this: It’s 2008, and you stayed home from school sick. You’re laying on your living room couch, covered in blankets and neglecting the chicken noodle soup on the table in front of you because you’re too busy watching Disney Channel. Eventually, you are lulled to sleep by the familiar sounds of the fifth Hannah Montana rerun of that day. Hours later, you awake in a cold sweat. The room is dark except for the light of the TV, Disney Channel still on. It must be at least 10 pm or later. Then, suddenly, you hear it: “Livin’ life with Derek,” The TV sings. “Livin’ life with Derek!” You know you’ve hit the jackpot. Life With Derek literally always airs after your normal bedtime, and this is your only chance to watch it. It’s even the best episode, the one where Casey gets appendicitis! And finally, you, too, can live life with Derek.
Zhu Zhu Pets
Somewhere, some executive at a toy company once said, “Hey, do you know what kids need more of? Annoying robotic pets!” And thus, Zhu Zhu Pets were born. I am absolutely certain these shits were the bane of my mother’s existence back in 2009 when I begged her for every beady-eyed robot hamster and its corresponding accessory I could find. My extensive robot hamster collection is now rotting in the attic of my parent’s garage. I miss when kids could just get by with stuffed animals instead of these newfangled battery-powered toys. Or, better yet, just get a real hamster instead!
The Care and Keeping of You
If you were a prepubescent girl in the mid to late 2000s, you had this book, I guarantee it. Perhaps it’s still hiding in a box in your parent’s house somewhere, deep in your attic or basement. Whether you appreciated it the information it provided you with or you were grossed out by it, you can’t deny that reading this book was a rite of passage. Leave it to the people who make American Girl Dolls to also teach us how to put a tampon in and what size bra we should get. We owe those people a lot! Thanks for being apart of so many young girls’ childhoods.
The “A Word From Us Kids” part on “Arthur”
If you watched Arthur a lot as a kid, you know exactly what I’m talking about here. In the middle of every episode, the show would cut to a real-life classroom of kids who would talk about what just went on in that episode. And you wanted that classroom of kids to be yours SO BAD. I still, to this day, have no idea how a classroom got picked and I don’t really want to know. I’d rather keep that knowledge a mystery so that I can continue to aspire to be as elusive and wise as the “A Word From Us Kids” kids.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this quick journey into the dark corners of your mind where these childhood memories reside. Who knows, maybe these memories have triggered even more childhood memories we’ve all collectively forgotten! If so, please do share them with the rest of us. After all, every year we get farther and farther away from the happy-go-lucky days of youth, and it’s important that we don’t forget about those simpler times.