How I Dealt with Toxic Friends

Growing up, I had a hard time making friends. I’m pretty sure it was because I always stood out, thanks to my brown skin and chubby cheeks. I was a very talkative kid in kindergarten, always walking up to every girl in my class and bringing up the most random topics just to socialize with them and make friends. Most of these conversations ended up with me being ignored or snarky comments being thrown in my face.

Later in my life, I met many people who were just like me with an obsession for Bollywood movies and a love for every Indian sweet imaginable. We would play tic-tac-toe in the corners of each other’s notes, share food during lunch, exchange homework answers, and even offer advice on personal issues. I truly felt like I would be best friends with these people for the rest of my life.

As our friend groups started to grow, I began to feel left out. It started with plans that I wasn’t included in. Then, I stopped getting casual texts. The only time I ever received a text was for answers to homework questions or to help with studying for an exam.

I knew I was losing my title as a friend, slowly slipping into just being an acquaintance, but I tried my best to ignore my doubts and just be a good friend. Then, graduation day arrived.    

As I sat in a plastic chair and clutched my diploma cover, my smile slipped, and tears welled in my eyes. I realized that I wasted part of my high school years chasing after people who clearly didn’t value me as much as I valued them.

I never stopped to ask myself if I was happy. I never stopped to cherish the friends who were always there for me.

I made a promise to myself that day. I promised myself that I would never chase after friendship. If we’re meant to be friends, and if we’re meant to stay as friends, it will happen on its own. With that promise, I walked away from the graduation hall, my so-called friends and my past, towards my real friends, my family and my future.

If you’re dealing with toxic friends, you have to let them go. Start by evaluating what they have given you in your friendship and what you have given them, especially spiritually, rather than materialistically. If one outweighs the other, then this friendship is clearly toxic. Your happiness comes first, always.

Today, I have a very small group of friends, but I am happier with them than I have ever been in my entire life. I call these friends my best friends because they continue to support me in every way, and they love me just as much as I love them.

If you’re worried that you’ll lose the only friends you’ve ever had, trust me when I say that the real and genuine ones will come your way soon.

 

• friendships
• toxic friendships