- Wow, I own the cutest animal on the planet.
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Just look at the little mouth and the way they jiggle when they run away. And popcorning? It’s like you knew I thought you were adorable and tried to make me love you even more by jumping up and down when you were happy. Well, success.
- Look at them go!
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There they go again, zooming around the room so much I start wondering if Sonic should have been based off a guinea pig and not a hedgehog (although maybe that’s the joke.) Wait, they’re finally laying down—all tired out. Oh boy, they’re even CUTER when they’re laying down!
- Is everything a chew toy for you?
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How do I find teeth marks on things I didn’t even know you could chew? How did this even fit in your mouth? How do you decide what to bite? It must be everything by default. My hair ties? Chewed. A new phone charger? Chewed. My favorite pair of shoes? Damn it, they’re chewed too.
- Your poop is so cute.
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Wow, look at those little pellets. They’re so easy to clean. Thank you for not having wet, squishy, smelly poops. I forgive you for chewing on everything.
- OMG, wait. The poops are everywhere.
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Why is there a pellet in my shoe? In my BED? It’s a damn infestation. It’s amazing that a body so small can produce so many poops in one day.
- The hay.
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Hay is just everywhere now. Doesn’t matter how often you sweep or pull a piece off your sweater/blanket/sock, it’s going to be there again tomorrow. Hay in the hallway where the guinea pigs never even go? Of course!
- The wheeking. Must. Stop.
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Do they really need to start as soon as I wake up in the morning? Oh man, I can’t even rustle any type of plastic bag when they haven’t eaten for like 5 minutes. Otherwise, it’ll set them off. Forget waking up in the middle of the night to get water or the sound of that fridge will set it off, even all the way down the hall!
- They’re just so freaking cute, I can’t even be mad.
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They have the tiniest paws, and it weighs next to nothing when they put them on you looking for food. And their hair is so soft that it’s amazing to pet (when they let you.) Plus, when you search for them and find them in a weird place they’ve decided is comfy, it melts your heart.