To my favorite university in the world:
It feels weird to be away from campus. I had a countdown of how many days until graduation, I could not wait to go home and relax for a while and ultimately be done with classes. I could not wait to start working, where I go to work for 40 hours a week and then get to do whatever I want after work. The time would be mine! No longer would I have to stay up until midnight writing papers, or living with five random girls, or have giant breaks in the middle of the day where I would just sit at a lunch table and talk about the weather with my friends for hours. I thought those were all good things to be done with… that was until I wasn’t able to do them anymore.
Now that I am home with “all the time in the world,” I don’t want it anymore. I would so much rather go back to my apartment where I would stay up writing papers until midnight because I got distracted talking to the roommates I had just met a few months ago or playing games with the friends I had made at band camp somewhere between seven months ago and 3 years and seven months ago. We were able to talk about the most random things and plan our futures for however long we wanted and I took it for granted. I want to go back and sit at the lunch table for at least one more hour and really take in that all I had to worry about was the weather. I miss those friends that joined me every single day. Now, I can’t see for the next few months, if that, since I will be graduating and there is no guarantee that I will see them again. I could go for a few more face-to-face classes where I can ask questions freely just by raising my hand. I could go for another band practice where I giggle from the middle of the band with my friends while other people are tuning their instruments. I could go for another run to the beehive just to get pre-made coffee. I could just go for being on campus one more time in general, like I thought I was going to be able to do for seven more weeks, but I’m not sure that will ever happen again.
So thank you, St. Ambrose University, for blessing me with those friends who were able to sit and talk for hours. Thank you for letting me pretend to be an adult by being in charge of my eating habits, my dishes, and my laundry but also not forcing me to grow up and be busy for 40 hours a week with rent, student loans, or a mortgage to pay yet. I am so scared that now I have to figure those things out, I wasn’t planning on figuring them out until May. I have to figure out how to get a job when businesses are trying to send non-essential workers home. I have to find a place to stay since I am currently back in my childhood bedroom with my little sister. I have to figure out how to be social without leaving the house or being able to just go down the hall or across campus to bother my friends. I have no idea what will come next but I know St. Ambrose prepared me for whatever it will be.
I hope to see you soon, St. Ambrose University. I hope to give you a proper goodbye and visit frequently in the coming years.