I am standing in front of a mirror. The morning light shines through the window but is captured by the shower curtain. I stand there, bare, waiting for the water to heat. I struggle to look at myself. I look up and copious voices run through my mind. I am overcome with a sense of disgust as all I can think about are my insecurities. The voices were hindered by the sound of my voice, “I am ugly”. I once again lost sight of myself. I preferred it that way. For years I had no problem picking myself apart. I’m not as thin as the other girls, or as tall as them, or as pretty as them. It’s easier to find what you don’t like about yourself rather than deciding those things are what make you beautiful. It’s especially easier when people constantly point out your imperfections or tell you they need some work. I will never forget the time in middle school when my friend came over to my house and after she left one of my family members pointed out that my friend is skinny and I am not as thin as she is. I will never forget the short time after when that same family member told me I need to go on a diet. I will never forget the time in high school when I was sitting in class and overheard my friends talking about what the perfect body is like. They went on and on about specific features that women should have and let’s just say it made me feel less than perfect. The real question here though, should not be “what can I do to be perfect?”. Instead, we should be asking “what is perfection and does it even exist?”
While I have welcomed my epiphany, I have recently come to discover that people close to me not only take meaningless words to heart, they take meaningless words to the body as well. They refuse to wear certain things and they also fear to look in the mirror, a feeling I knew all too well. I am not only writing this article for them, but I am also writing it for all of the people who can’t even look at themselves because they are overwhelmed by a feeling of revulsion.
One person’s definition of perfect is not the deciding factor. It is not what everyone has to live by. If wearing a bikini or a tight dress makes you feel good then you should. Keep in mind that you are not trying to impress anyone but yourself. When you look into that mirror remember that you are unique. There is not one person out there who is like you and that is what makes you special. That is what makes you beautiful. People say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder; it’s true. I learned at a young age that not everyone is going to find you attractive. Words hurt but listening to those words and making yourself feel ugly is not going to solve anything. It’s hard. It’s really hard but you have to try to look past other people’s opinions because you know what? They don’t matter! The only thing that matters is how you see yourself. From this day forward, know your worth and know that you are stunning!
