Before the pandemic, I had always dated guys with red flags. There were always huge warning signs in relationships that I was forming with the guys and they, unfortunately, continued during the quarantine. It was only until August that I realized how much I hated the pressure of being in a relationship because all my friends were in relationships and people would automatically assume that I had too high of expectations.
This continued throughout the entire summer. I didn’t mind at the time, even though I was tired of the same conversations, because I was honestly bored with everything closed down. I felt that I needed the attention while being locked in the house all the time. It was only until the last guy that I dated this summer that I realized how wrong I was.
This summer, I ended up getting a job when everything started to open back up while still being cautious of the COVID restrictions. The only people I would see outside of my family were my close friends that tested negative for the virus and the people I worked with, but there was also a guy I worked with that caught my attention.
We ended up flirting the whole summer, and when I finally quit, he had asked for my number. We ended up talking and going on dates, but during the whole time we were dating, I was annoyed. He constantly wanted to hang out with me, and all I wanted to do was be with my friends again and go back to college. I finally went back to school and realized that I’m not ready for a relationship. Coming back to school was the first time since the pandemic started that I was excited about life again. I had learned so much from everything that happened from this summer that I realized I can’t be in a relationship when I don’t even know who I am right now. I can now say that I have to stop forcing things with guys. It is finally a time in my life where I don’t feel the need to be in a relationship just because I am that single friend back home.