March 16, 2001, is when my life turned upside down. I was six years old and I thought nothing bad could ever happen to a happy kid like me. I started to experience symptoms like extreme thirst, irritability and frequently using the restroom, sometimes almost 20-30 times in one day. When my teacher called my mom, she set up an appointment at the doctor’s office to have me seen immediately. After running some tests, they had diagnosed me with type 1 juvenile diabetes. It basically means that my pancreas which produces insulin in my body to regulate blood sugar no longer works, and it just sits in my body taking up space not doing what it should. I could not really understand what was going on at the time, but all I knew was that I saw panic in my parent’s eyes as they scrambled to get me home, pack some bags, and head to the Children’s Hospital in Seattle so I could be properly treated.
To say I was terrified was a bit of an understatement. I had a general idea that I was sick, but I thought it would be a quick fix, a couple of days in the hospital and I would be good as new. Wrong. Diabetes does not just take a few days to magically disappear. It sticks with you. I spent a total of three days in the Children’s Hospital where my Diabetes Educator helped me and my family better understand and manage type 1 diabetes. It was a lot of scary new things, like needles. Being six years old and being told to check your blood sugar with a needle 6-8 times a day, not to mention give yourself shots of insulin 3 times a day or as needed, sounded painful. Truth be told it can be, but you start mentally preparing yourself to the point it does not phase you anymore. On top of learning to check my blood sugar and giving myself shots, I learned how to count carbohydrates and sugars in my food so I could make the appropriate adjustments with insulin. By the time I learned the basics with my family, it was time to head home and go about my life as a normal kid. My mom had to explain to me when we got home from the Hospital that this is what my life would be like forever. There were tears, but I think after a while I had to just figure it out and learn to live with it.
Going back to school was the toughest part. I felt like all eyes were on me when I was checking my blood sugar or giving myself a shot. Some of my friends were supportive and genuinely cared about my health. Others were a little more skeptical and even seemed freaked out with what happened to me. It got to a point later in middle school and high school I felt judged for having a chronic illness. I then had got on an insulin pump which was a lot better than shots every few hours. This was continually regulating insulin in me at different rates during the day and only had to be changed every three days. I thought that was going to solve my problems, but it did not. I started developing major anxiety that made me not take care of my body. I was so nervous and anxious that my blood sugar would go low and I did not want to burden others with me having an issue. It freaked me out and that feeling lasted for years on end. I self-isolated from everyone. I started to become a hermit and became more and more anti-social, all because of my diabetes. It got me to the point that I was constantly making my blood sugar so high that it had me hospitalized in the ICU. I was starting to damage my body that would eventually harm me in the long run. After that, I had to make changes. I was not going back down the same path. It took years, but I started to gain back some confidence that my illness was not a burden towards myself or others. I started to see my blood sugar go back to normal and felt much better. I was getting back to the old me.
I have now been living with diabetes for nearly twenty years now. Diabetes tests you in ways you never thought. It gives you good days, bad days, days you want to scream, and just give up. But you cannot simply do just that. You keep going and do everything you can day by day. The most important thing I can tell someone who may be suffering from Diabetes or any chronic illness is that it’s essential to not let it define you. There is beauty in overcoming challenges. Teach others how to defy the odds and show them how you can still go about your life and truly live, even if you have a few extra steps in your day. If you know someone who is living with diabetes, take the time to learn about what they are going through and be the support they need. For those who have been by my side, through all the scars and needles, I could not be where I am today without you all.